Functionally ReTodded

Big news from Rochester, New York yesterday. And since I don’t have a lot planned today, I’m going to blatantly cut and paste from the article without crediting them.

The lowly stick, a universal plaything powered by a child’s imagination, landed in the National Toy Hall of Fame on Thursday along with the Baby Doll and the skateboard.

The three were chosen to join the Strong National Museum of Play’s lineup of 38 classics ranging from the bicycle, the kite and Mr. Potato Head to Crayola crayons, marbles and the Atari 2600 video game system.

Curators said the stick was a special addition in the spirit of a 2005 inductee, the cardboard box. They praised its all-purpose, no-cost, recreational qualities, noting its ability to serve either as raw material or an appendage transformed in myriad ways by a child’s creativity.

"It’s very open-ended, all-natural, the perfect price — there aren’t any rules or instructions for its use," said Christopher Bensch, the museum’s curator of collections. "It can be a Wild West horse, a medieval knight’s sword, a boat on a stream or a slingshot with a rubber band. … No snowman is complete without a couple of stick arms, and every campfire needs a stick for toasting marshmallows.

"This toy is so fantastic that it’s not just for humans anymore. You can find otters, chimps and dogs — especially dogs — playing with it."

So let me get this straight.  Someone went to the trouble to start a Toy Hall of Fame.  Then someone bought the Toy Hall of Fame.  Then a "credible" news source goes to cover a story about this year’s inductees.  And headlining the inductees is a fucking stick?

Really?  A stick.  Of all the whipass toys there have been, we’re inducting the stick. The thing that, if it falls off a tree in your yard, you pick it up and throw it in the trash.  So they’re inducting garbage.

"But wait," you might be saying, "It’s versatile and cheap and easy to play with using your imagination."

Right.  I know of another toy that versatile and cheap and easy to play with using your imagination.  It’s called my penis.  But I haven’t gotten any camera crews showing up at my house to film Floppy’s induction into any Hall of Fame.  Except for the Energizer Bunny overusing something to the point of it falling off and begging for mercy Hall of Fame.

Funny.  It was Avitable that called to inform me of the news.  That seemed appropriate .

First of all, I’m in favor of gay marriage.  Like local radio favorite Larry Wachs says "if you wanna jump in and risk half your assets for a piece of paper, it’s fine with me."

That said, I have the simplest of simple questions for you.

If you had a choice, and could choose only one, which would it be?

a)  Senator Obama wins the election

b)  Prop 8 loses and gay marriage is an ammendment.

Stop being selfish and short sighted, you jackasses.  Your greater good is with Obama as president.  That prop 8 can be struck down later.  Be adults for Christ’s sake.

I predicted (accurately) that Obama would win in a Reagan-esque landslide fashion.

He did.

Now, you’re gonna see two years of action that may well kill our nation.  I don’t think people understand that "wealth distribution" is what this country used as a reason to have the Boston Tea Party and why we ultimately left England and created the country we now enjoy, yet stand on the precipice of killing.

I don’t revel in the failure of others, but I want to hear from these cultists two years from now when the debt is up 25%, more houses have been lost than ever before, and more people are unemployed than ever before.

I am not sure I’ve ever been more disappointed in our country.