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	<title>Functionally ReTodded</title>
	<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com</link>
	<description>Go ahead.  Make fun of him.  He'll never even know.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:12:16 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>I sit here shuddering</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m watching Canadian TLC, and this is the story that&#8217;s on now.
The fact that this shit happened, even in our neighboring Canada, just shocks me.  And not just the crazy fuck doctor, but the parents participation too.
Seriously, we are STILL hunting Nazis, yet this crazy fucker decides &#34;hey, let&#8217;s cut off this kid&#8217;s balls and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/08/05/i-sit-here-shuddering/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>I just turned 40</title>
		<description><![CDATA[My friend John sent me this:
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/08/05/i-just-turned-40/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>lost in translation</title>
		<description><![CDATA[So I&#8217;m watching some music video countdown (that&#8217;s in French) and I am half watching the commercial for the H2O floor steamer / scrubber thingy, and then I realize that they are advertising the 10 free floor mop covers as &#34;10 FREE TAMPONS,&#34;  and I think to myself, &#34;That&#8217;s no selling point,  you [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/08/05/lost-in-translation/</link>
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		<title>A pleasant Canadian surprise</title>
		<description><![CDATA[One thing that completely slipped my mind when scheduling my return trip to Canada was the fact that I would be reunited with my favorite Canadian and, dare I say, my man crush.
No.  Not Jacque Villenueve.  Not Patrick Roy.  Not Dan Aykroyd.  Not Alan Thicke.  Not Geddy Lee.  Not [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/08/05/a-pleasant-canadian-surprise/</link>
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		<title>A word about things that are free</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes free is a price too high to pay.
That has never been more clear than five minutes into viewing the DVD I received &#34;free&#34; yesterday from the topless diner.
We shall never speak of this again.
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/08/03/a-word-about-things-that-are-free/</link>
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		<title>Êtes-vous sûr vous voulez-vous des fritures avec cela aussi ?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Wow.
So today, on the way to the office during a seemingly routine cab ride, the VERY French driver points to his left to a warehouse looking building and says, “Have you eaten there?”
“No,” I replied.  “Is it good?”

“The girls…the are pretty…and wear short short skirts.”

Well thank you, Pepe Le Pue.  I’ll keep that [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/07/31/etes-vous-sur-vous-voulez-vous-des-fritures-avec-cela-aussi/</link>
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		<title>Welcome to air travel</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I made a few notes during my flight Sunday, and I wanted to share them with you.
First and foremost, WHO FARTS ON AN AIRPLANE?!?!?!?
Seriously.  I understand if that gawdawful smell was coming from the fore lav.  But to just be sitting in my seat and having this green wave of death falling upon me is [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/07/30/welcome-to-air-travel/</link>
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		<title>Coming to you live from the ATL airport</title>
		<description><![CDATA[So here I sit, and I have some observations.
If you are a fat 50+ year old in a wheelchair at the airport with all the signs of advanced diabetes, should you really have a 12 pack of Krystal Burgers in front of you?
Flying on Monday morning means two hours in the Homeland Security line. Fly [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/07/27/coming-to-you-live-from-the-atl-airport/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Ahhhh kids.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Last evening, my eldest offspring was having some tummy issues, and she was very, how shall I say it?
Let&#8217;s call it aromatic.
Anywho, it was rolling up on bedtime, and 1doh decided that she wanted to get into 2doh&#8217;s bed with 2doh and mommy so they could have the bedtime ritual together, that ritual consisting of [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/07/11/ahhhh-kids/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Welcome to Charter.  How may I disgust you today?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[As you may or may not know, I&#8217;ve more than my fair share of run-ins with Charter Communications and their line of residential (non)services. I&#8217;ve had near strokes dealing with their Madagascar-based tech support where some dot-head can&#8217;t vary from the script for one second to actually listen and hear me say &#34;Hey FUCKO!!! I&#8217;m [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.FunctionallyReTodded.com/2008/07/11/welcome-to-charter-how-may-i-disgust-you-today/</link>
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