I’m watching Canadian TLC, and this is the story that’s on now.
The fact that this shit happened, even in our neighboring Canada, just shocks me. And not just the crazy fuck doctor, but the parents participation too.
Seriously, we are STILL hunting Nazis, yet this crazy fucker decides "hey, let’s cut off this kid’s balls and have the parents raise you, the one with your balls cut off, as the girl."
I may not sleep tonight.
My friend John sent me this:
So I’m watching some music video countdown (that’s in French) and I am half watching the commercial for the H2O floor steamer / scrubber thingy, and then I realize that they are advertising the 10 free floor mop covers as "10 FREE TAMPONS," and I think to myself, "That’s no selling point, you dumbfucks."
One thing that completely slipped my mind when scheduling my return trip to Canada was the fact that I would be reunited with my favorite Canadian and, dare I say, my man crush.
No. Not Jacque Villenueve. Not Patrick Roy. Not Dan Aykroyd. Not Alan Thicke. Not Geddy Lee. Not Rick Emmett. Not John Candy, Rick Moranis, William Shatner, Keaneu Reeves, Donald Sutherland, Matthew Perry, Michael J. Fox, Mike Myers, Jim Carey, Martin Short or Kiefer Sutherland. Not Bryan Adams, Neil Young, Tom Cochrane, Gordon Lightfoot or Robbie Robertson.
No it’s none of those Canadian men. It’s Mike Holmes, the host of one of the greatest television shows ever:
Seriously, I am pretty sure I could sit and watch 150 episodes of this show in a row. The guy shows up on the scene where someone / someones are in the midst of a home contractor crisis, either thru fraud, neglect or even not knowing better, and here comes Mike, with his team of amazing contractors, and they not only solve the problem on time, but also they do work that 99.9999% of the world’s contractors could only dream to achieve.
Then, during the show, he takes a moment here or there to indignantly shit on the person/persons that did the prior work. And at the end, while giving the homeowner(s) the tour, he takes moments to dig another knife into the poor saps who had their work profiled on his show.
And another thing I like is that he’s not the guy that stands on the side whilst everyone else works. He’s putting down tile, putting up fixtures, doing structural changes, etc.
If you can’t decide what ou should buy me for Christmas this year, think no more. Buy me one (or more) of the past seasons of Holmes on Homes on DVD . I’ll even let you watch it with me if you’ll promise to be quiet.
Sometimes free is a price too high to pay.
That has never been more clear than five minutes into viewing the DVD I received "free" yesterday from the topless diner.
We shall never speak of this again.
What say you?