It’s gotten to where I hate holidays. I like days off, but when you call it a holiday, it inevitably sucks for me and others.
There’s no reason I should be laying in bed at 9:30pm blogging with my Blackberry on the penultimate night of my birthnakah weekend, yet here I am.
The writer’s block I am currently feeling seems similar in size to a major office building.
Hooray.
It’s truly amazing how flexible you can be when posting simply by clicking that EDIT button next to the Publish immediately.
I am prepping nine slabs of babyback ribs to go with all of the side dishes and appetizers everyone’s
bringing. I predict that the ribs will be good and well received.
I also predict that I will not find myself photographed in an adult diaper this year.
Please hang on the edgge of your seats for moderately amusing details to come later…
Tomorrow’s my birthday. There’s planning and cooking to do.
I will have something tomorrow.
Eff you Cashion.
FRT
Today was an uneventful day.
I didn’t get my balls wet whilst taking a dump.
No kids brained me with the popcorn roller thingy.
I didn’t shart in the car on the way to work.
No one cut me off at a drive thru.
Charter didn’t fuck up and kill my internet for the day.
I didn’t fall off the sidewalk and into traffic.
No governor (that I’m aware of) left for four days to bang someone on another continent.
No dead pedophiles came back from the dead.
And I did not die while playing volleyball or drown while swimming after said activity.
All in all, a decent day.
Tomorrow will be filled with exciting things like laundry folding, kid room cleaning, yard work, etc.
Stand back everybody. I think I’m getting a boner.
Sincerely,
FRT
p.s. My birthday is Friday. Would it fucking kill you to get me a present? Hoss, you just need to come over and hang out. Everybody else, gift me.
Seriously? When is this ridiculousness gonna stop?
A US governor disappears, WITH NO TRANSFER OF POWER IN PLACE, to go to South America to screw the girlfriend that isn’t his wife, and I have to hear about it being a "love story," and yet he’s "working on falling back in love with his wife," and all the while his wife’s spouting bible verses like a retarded Christian fortune cookie machine.
And now, just a few scant days later, it’s come to light that he "crossed lines" with other women, but "never had sex with them."
Congratulations you fucking narcissistic ass. You’re just another in a long line of shit bags who think that their access to money and power affords them the luxury of judging from their ivory tower while not living by the rules by which the rest of us are forced to live.
I’m sure your constituents are thrilled that your trip to see your girlfriend in New York was paid for in cash so no state funds were used.
Whew. What a relief.
It’s so great to be able to say that you "never crossed the ultimate line" with anyone but the main woman that wasn’t your wife.
Awesome. So I guess if you’re a governor on a trip to where the fuck ever, getting two girls to simultaneously blow you isn’t crossing "the ultimate line?" or is it simply a hand shandy. Is that okay?
Not only should South Cackalackeans remove this cock from office, but they should run him out of the state on a rail.
At some point, someone has to tell these guys enough is enough.
