Functionally ReTodded

I officially refuse to apologize for not blogging lately.  I have had a shit-ton on my plate.  The biggest thing is that my last day here may or may not be this Friday.  The uncertainty of not knowing has me a little frazzled and stressed.

But since I am so committed to you, my readers, I’ve decided to throw together a few short rants, and the first is Facebook related.

If you play Facebook games like me (Mafia Wars, Mob Wars, Farmville, Farm Town, etc.), it’s important to understand that you’re a dork.  I know I am.

If you don’t play these games but are friends with those that do, you also know that we are dorks.

But to get upset about getting our updates, requests, etc., is just plain silly.  If you don’t want to receive these nerdy notices but don’t want to unfriend us, just do this:

Hover your mouse over the very offensive notification and you’ll see a box that says "HIDE."

Click that and you will see this dialog:

But you’ll see it clearer.  It says you can hide the person, hide the app or cancel.  So just click "hide the app" and be done with it.  Don’t bother joining groups like "I don’t give a crap about your farm, mob, mafia, pet shop" and such.

Recently the state of Georgia enacted a new "Super Speeder law."  Basically it states the following:

"The Super Speeder legislation will increase fines to decrease trauma-causing behavior. Driving over 85 mph or more anywhere in Georgia and 75 mph or more on a two lane road will be classified as a "super speeding" offense, adding an additional fine of $200, which will be administered by the Georgia Department of Driver Services."

On the surface this sounds like an awesome idea.  But it’s not.  it’s a lazy way to collect more money from motorists.  Instead of being the guy that gives you a ticket for going 64 in a 55 in the Perimeter, they’ll just wait around to hit the guys doing 85 in a 65 and give them a huge fine.  It’s like the guy that waits around to sell the one super tricked out Corvette Z06 instead of trying to move five Chevy Malibu.  Or is that Malibi?  I’m not sure.

But the bigger issue here is the source of my rant.  Speeding. Or should I say, how dumb speeding is and that all people that speed regularly deserve every ticket they get.

And when I say speeding, I’m not talking about the person driving 15mph over the speed limit on a 500 mile road trip where there’s a discernible benefit.  (Just so you know, driving 500 miles at 65mph would take 7.69 hours, while driving the same distance at 80mph would take 6.25 hours).

I’m talking about the ass-hat who is late for their job at Chili’s 6 miles from their house, so they drive 70 in a 45 to ensure that they’ll be less late.  I’m talking about the person that’s late for tennis so they drive 60 in a 35 thru a semi-residential area.

The fact is, you were late when you left, so putting yourself and me in danger to be slightly less late is stupid.

Further, the math alone says you’re being dumb, and that’s if you DON’T get pulled over by Johnny Law.  Don’t believe me?  Here.

If you drive 45 mph for 15 miles, it will take you 20 minutes to get there.  If you drive 65 for 15 miles, it will take you about 14 minutes.  That’s six whole minutes.  And since a traffic stop takes a good 15 minutes at best, your logic for speeding is flawed AND dumb.

Besides, couldn’t you just use your cell phone and call whomever / wherever you’re supposed to be and tell them you’re running late?  Wouldn’t that be easier, cheaper and smarter than driving over your head around people going 2/3 as fast as you?

Yours in math and logic,

FRT

Yep.  I am.

I was listening to The Regular Guys podcast this morning from yesterday’s show and was reminded of this story which, in turn, reminded me of another story.

(R) Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah has a bug up his ass about the Bowl Championship Series and how it may somehow violate anti-trust laws. The President has said on more than one occasion that he’s in favor of a playoff in college football.

Other members of congress have for years inquired about the validity of Major League Baseball’s anti-trust exemption.

If you don’t know what anti-trust laws are or what they mean or how they work, here’s a simple explanation.

We interrupt this blog to deliver this important message:

WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT ANTI-TRUST EXEMPTIONS, ANTI-TRUST LAWS AND PLAYOFFS?

Well, I care about the playoff part, but I don’t think there is a single member of the House or Senate that should burn one single calorie worrying about college football or steroids in baseball or any of that other shit.

Why?

Because our nation is on the brink of collapse.  It’s debt is now estimated at 15 Trillion Dollars, which is almost TWO BILLION DOLLARS MORE than the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) of said country.

That’s right.  At a time when we are about to slide as a nation to number two, three or worse on the planet from our role as Big Man On Campus and we are spiraling headlong and at light speed into the financial abyss, we have public servants and elected congressmen and congresswomen worrying about whether it’s fair for the NCAA to control how their championship works and whether MLB’s union is legal.

Really?  And for this these assholes get lifetime benefits for free, amnesty from 99.9% of their douchebaggy behavior?

I want to go to sleep at night knowing that the people on The Hill are burning the midnight oil trying to find a solution to our economic woes that doesn’t involve raising taxes, crushing small business and artificially propping up the economy by printing more worthless money.

Many of these folks have been in office for years, which means they lived thru the salad days of the Dot Com boom and all of the spoils that went with that.  They didn’t have to work too hard then and make tough decisions, but they do now.

In closing, I’d like to say to Mr. Hatch that my fellow citizens and I would appreciate it if he and his colleagues would spend a little less time worrying about why Utah keeps getting snubbed by the BCS (cough cough crappy conference and weak out of conference schedule) and a little more time trying to prevent the second depression in this nation’s short history.

Sincerely,

FRT