Functionally ReTodded

I wrote about the early stages of the Tiger Woods drama during the first few days.  That is to say AFTER we knew he was lying about the events of that evening but BEFORE we found out that there was a string of women he was allegedly sleeping with for years and years that were not as attractive as his wife.

Now, having said that, here’s what we know.

We know that we never knew Tiger Woods at all.  Tiger was a persona crafted by his late father, honed by a huge team of people and sadly, at the time he needed their expertise the most, failed by them.

That is not to excuse Tiger Woods.  What he did is ethically and personally reprehensible.  What appears to be a long running pattern of infidelity finally caught up with him, and I’m glad it did.

This is where my road veers a little off the common path.

Every network is bringing on media consultants, therapists and other "specialists" who are giving their advice to Tiger.  So far it’s been said that he should:

Go on Oprah (with his wife) and apologize to everyone.
Give a big gushing apology interview to the media.
Come clean about the details.
Go into rehab for sex addiction.

Fuck all of that.

For every one of us that slow down, crane our necks and read the tabloid headlines (myself included), screw you.  Not including Mrs. Woods, Tiger Woods doesn’t owe you, me or anyone else shit.  He doesn’t owe you a long, drawn out, tear filled apology about how he’s let down the kids, his sponsors, the PGA Tour, his peers, his parents, his God, or anyone else.

What he owes is owed to his wife and children only.  And that is to be honest about what happened, address why it happened, figure out if she can forgive him or if she even wants to forgive him, decide if they’ll both be able to go forward as husband and wife or whether they will be unable to fix the damage, in which case they need to work out the details of a divorce that works best for them and their children as they see it.

Period.  No more.  No less.

You can judge him all you want.  You can say he’s let you down or the public down or his fans down or whatever.

I was listening to Dan Le Batard yesterday and he said that more than anything, he’d like to see Tiger at a table in front of the media come out and say "I’m profoundly sorry for the mistakes I’ve made for my family, but kiss my _ _ _ _ ass.  You guys don’t belong in my life this way.  These are my mistakes.  I am really sorry to the people that I have harmed.  Those people are not YOU.  Those people live in my home."

What I want is to see Tiger Woods continue to play at a level far above the plane on which the rest of the tour players operate.  That’s it.  Beyond that, I wish he and his family well.

One thing I do know.  I am NOT Tiger Woods.