In an effort to end a week or more of absolutely pathetic effort writing on my part, I’ve decided to use the recent news to help motivate me and get my creative and angry writing juices flowing.
First up today is the Michael Jackson stuff. Setting aside whether or not you think he was a pedophile, I just want to say:
ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
I understand. Popular. Talented once. Thriller. Blah blah blobbedy blah. If I have to see another retarded news story here in Atlanta about how two fat chicks are "his biggest fans" and they’re at the airport ready to fly to the memorial in Los Angeles, I’m gonna "Beat It." Get a life. Jesus.
Jackson hasn’t been musically (or humanly) viable in at least 15 years. Seriously. If the news has to go back to 1995 for relevant musical reference, the guy was simply a younger version of a crazy Howard Hughes.
The family is a giant pile of dysfunction, Jackson’s children have no chance at being remotely okay or functional as adults, the entire thing is a the equivalent of watching a huge car accident, and I for one have had enough.
Can’t we just go back to waiting for pictures of Lilo or Britney’s vajeens when they are awkwardly trying to climb out of a low -riding car in a mini-skirt with no underpants on?
This headline actually made me laugh out loud. Twice. It read: Cybercriminals steal $415,000 from county in Kentucky.
And the first line of the article said "Sophisticated international cybercriminals stole $415,000 from a bank account belonging to Bullitt County, Ky. last month — and got two dozen regular citizens to help them."
I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t exactly consider Kentucky the east coast version of Silicon Valley. The words "Bullit County, Kentucky" conjure in my mind images of barefoot guys in overalls with rope for belts standing next to a huge woman with a marlboro red hanging out of her mouth.
How sophisticated did these guys actually have to be? Kentucky is probably full of people that use air quotes when they say "I’m not really a ‘computer’ person."
I imagine that their plan wasn’t too sexy or complicated. Actually, I bet that, at some point, it either included some guy using a fake French accent saying "I am going to take a quarter out of your ear" or "Somebody’s got your nose," while holding his own thumb between the index and middle finger of the same hand.
And finally, there is the "parent" in California whose 7th grade child is suing because the child’s first amendment rights have been violated.
You see, this 12 year old decided to wear a pro-life tshirt to school.
I’m no constitutional attorney (unless the constitutional you’re referring to is making number two, in which case I’m a supreme court justice of that), so I won’t pretend to understand or really even have an opinion based on the law.
My opinion on this is based on common sense. Does your 7th grader have an opinion about abortion? Maybe. Hell, probably.
But is it great parenting to let your kid wear that to school knowing what a fucking shitstorm will result from wearing it?
No. No it’s not.
If your seventh grader wants to protest via clothing the fact that there’s no orange Fanta in the cafeteria vending machines, that’s great. If he/she wants to wear a Free Nelson Mandella t-shirt, that’s cool too.
But any parent that knowingly lets their kid at 12 go to school in a pro-life (or pro-choice) t-shirt knows full well that it’s going to cause a huge stink, and there’s no reason to distract from the "learning" that the rest of the students would be doing if the news people and police and national guard and whomever else hadn’t shown up at their school.
You want to indoctrinate your kid at an age too young to fully understand the consequences of abortion or choice or unprotected sex or any of that? Make a fucking sign and stand at the mall entrance of Sears or in front of some clinic.
But don’t act like you’re just trying to protect your constitutional rights. You have another right you could have exercised too, and that is the right to remain silent.
What say you?