Functionally ReTodded

First, one of those "Jesus Christ How Dare They?" articles about the National Endowment for the Arts and how they got some of the 787 billion dollar stimulus money to make porn.

A couple of notes here.

First, has a single one of you even seen anything that was funded by the NEA?  I mean, besides the two beauties from Robert Maplethorp (man with riding crop in his ass and and upside down crucifix in a jar of urine), I bet not.

And further, I don’t give a shit.

"Why don’t you care?" FRT.

Simple.  It’s a drop of piss in the ocean.  The NEA got 80 million dollars.  Out of 787 BILLION.  Besides the fact that that 80 million is about  1.6 million per state (again a drop of piss), but 80 million of 800 BILLION (I’m rounding up for math purposes) is about one ten thousandth of the total of the "stimulus" money.

To put that in simpler terms, this is like a parent arranging for their stupid kid to get a $10,000 scholarship for college and then shitting their pants and going crazy because their kid spent a dollar on a big Butterfinger candy bar.

I’m much more concerned that they’ve only released about 10% of the the stimulus money or that they approved it at all than I am that a fighter jet’s worth of it went to some dorks who think a gang bang that includes a dude in a gorilla suit is art.

I find it ironic and almost insane that people (conservatives) have their riding crops in a knot about 80 million dollars when there are pork earmarks in legislation their folks (and others) support that FAR exceed 80 million dollars.

Next up, another high and mighty outspoken opponent of gay marriage, this time from the Tennessee state legislature, has resigned after it was discovered that he was playing hide the salami with a 22 year old intern .

I’ve had enough of everyone that’s against gay marriage.  Really.  And it’s tough to sell how you don’t want people, regardless of their preference, in a committed relationship while one after another these dickhead politicians can’t stop fucking Not Mr. politician’s wives.

Enough you jackasses.  Govern like the Constitution says to and leave the rest of the shit to us.  You’ve proven incompetent anyway.

Third in line today is the Beer Summit .

I have several problems with this entire story.  First, there is no reason that a sitting president should bother to comment on a local law enforcement issue that didn’t involve a Rodney King-esque beating.  To say the cop acted "stupidly" in front of national media without having all the facts was pathetic.

Here’s what happened.  A woman saw a man trying to forcefully enter a home.  She called the police.  If I’m the homeowner, I’m thankful someone gave a shit rather than help some guys empty my home of its contents.

But no.  Professor Black Panther screams racism and now this cop’s up to his neck in shit and has to agree to have a beer with this jackass and the president (who called the cop STUPID), and be inconvenienced by getting from Cambridge to D.C.

The cop did his job and now he’s the next Joe Plumber.

Let’s turn this around now.  Some stranger is seen entering the same home and no one calls the cops, or they do and the cops don’t do shit.  Instead of it being Professor Racism entering the house, it’s a burglar or two.

What happens then? Professor Asshole screams racism because the white cops of Cambridge, Mass did nothing to protect his property and it was probably because the home was owned by a black man.

but beyond all of that, we have to know what beers the guys are having.  And Obama picked Budweiser.

Pussy.

Why did he pick Budweiser?  Because it’s huge and American owned, and I’m sure there’s  been some money along the way from Bud or Anheuser Busch.

Hey Mr. President, how about growing a pair and ordering a Fat Tire or a Sweetwater 420 or some other high quality microbrew?  You could say "See?  I AM supporting small business."

But no.  You take the pussy way out and order yourself a Bud.  Nice work.

And finally today, a few words about Michael Vick.

Everyone (including those assholes at PETA) needs to shut the fuck up already.

Did Vick do something reprehensible and horrific?  Yes.  Was he tried and sentenced to serve 23 months in a federal prison?  Yes.  Did he serve that time?  Yes.  Does he have a right to attempt to earn a living?  Yes.

No one says any of you have to pay him to dog sit for you while you’re out of town.  Michael Vick playing in the NFL or anywhere else will have zero affect on your lives.

The funny thing, I haven’t heard one person from MADD or any other organization having a shit fit or getting publicity protesting the fact that Leonard Little drove drunk and killed a woman and only missed a couple of games, or that Donte Stallworth of the Browns recently drove drunk, struck and killed a man and served 24 whole days in the county lockup.

that’s right. 24 days for killing a man. And Browns fans just hope the time in County didn’t hurt his 40 time or his vertical leap.

It turns out, this whole post today was about telling people (for the billionth time) to get off their ridiculous high horses and manage their own lives.   There’s plenty to worry about that does affect you instead of worrying about porn you’ll never see and who plays football and who marries who.

But I damn sure hope to see some protestors from micro-brew houses around DC and Baltimore protesting the President drinking pisswater.

High five everybody.

FRT

Tonight the wife and I sat down to watch one of my favorite shows: ESPN E:60.

If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s an hour long show that features long and short 60 minutes-style interviews with either interesting sports figures or sports figures with interesting stories.

It’s really great television and it makes you think.

Tonight featured two stories that interested me.

The first was about LPGA rookie golfer Anna Rawson.

If you’re not familiar with her (and I wasn’t), here she is:

If you can’t tell, she plays golf.

Now, the best part of this story was ugly female sports journalist Christine Brennan comes to say that she’s concerned that this girl should be asking herself if she’s "being appreciated for the right reasons."

She can hit it 270 off the tee, is a scratch golfer, and she looks like that? Shut the fuck up Christine. That’s your sad and homely ego talking.

Enough already. Anna Kournikova did herself proud too. She was a marginal talent that was stone cold stunning and made a mint. I’m sure she won’t shed a tear the day she isn’t voted into the WTA hall of fame.

But the best part of the show (and possibly the best thing in the history of the show) was the story about James "Bubba" Stewart.

If you don’t know who he is, that’s okay. But what he is today is the best Supercross racer on the planet, and possibly the best Supercross racer ever.

He’s a young black man that started racing at age four, and he’s only 24 now, but he’s won a crazy number of events in a row and has won title after title after title.

But the part about his story that’s amazing is how his father shielded him from the overt racism they encountered during James’ youth racing around north Florida and into Georgia and Alabama.

The story that made the wife and I want to jump for joy was the story his dad told about a race they were trying to enter in North Alabama.

Stewart’s father said "We’re here to enter the race."

Some cracker running the show said "We don’t race niggers here."

To which Stewart’s father replied "Good, because we came here to race some motorcycles."

Since then, Stewart earned 10 million dollars last year alone and I’m sure the cracker at the track still works third shift at the pointed white sheet plant.

I’m inspired every day by people of color that decide not to use racism as an excuse but as motivation.

Good on ya, Bubba. I look forward to cheering you on when you come to NASCAR!

FRT