Functionally ReTodded

Today I’ve decided to offer some advice to you, my readers, also known as my wife and moms.

First off, as most of my readers may be aware, I was recently forced to endure a trip to the 21st century’s version of Ellis Island, otherwise known as the DMV.

Why was that?

Because sometime during my last 36 hours in Phoenix last month I lost my driver’s license, and I was fortunate enough to make this discovery at the Delta counter in Phoenix on my way home.

Luckily I had my passport with me, but that meant I needed a replacement license.

I went online when I got home and it said I could request and purchase a replacement license online!!  YESSS!!!  All I needed to do is enter four pieces of information:

Name?  Got that one right.

Date of Birth?  Hell yeah.  Just around the corner.

Social Security number?  Aced it again.

Driver’s License number:  Wait.  What?

Where do I get that besides on the license that I lost that I’m trying to replace?

You see kiddies, years ago, you could request that your SSN be your license number so there was no problem.  But then, the age of identity theft arose, so the state governments decided to end that practice and make the driver’s license number different.  But no biggie, right?  I mean, I don’t write checks anymore, so my DL number isn’t important, is it?

Unless of course I want to renew it online.  GRRRRR.

So my advice kiddies is to write down your DL number or email it to yourself or write it somewhere in your garage.  That way you can avoid the DMV and the muffin tops and the illegal alien dating game in line.