Functionally ReTodded

From writer’s block, that is.  At least for now.

I think it’s called Serendipity, but I love those days where I’m watching five minutes of news before I leave for work and a story comes on and I know instantly that it is the topic for that day’s post.

And that’s just what happened this morning.

A story hit the news about an interview President Obama gave with NBC.  Said interview included a fly buzzing around until finally, after several swattings, the president put the smack down and killed the fly.

(I’d like to let it be known that I refuse to watch these fluffy bunny puff piece interviews with any president or any other politician).

This morning, this story hit the web.

The two parts I enjoyed / loathed were:

"We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. "We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals."

and

Friedrich said that PETA was pleased with Obama’s voting record in the Senate on behalf of animal rights and noted that he has been outspoken against animal abuses.

Still, "swatting a fly on TV indicates he’s not perfect," Friedrich said, "and we’re happy to say that we wish he hadn’t."

(disclaimer:  I am not in favor of the needless harming of animals, like that asshole in Florida that killed 18 cats recently.   The state could save a lot of time, money and pain by gassing that shit-head now before he becomes Jeffrey Dahmer Jr).

NOT making the news this morning was the plea deal reached between prosecutors and Cleveland Browns WR Donte` Stallworth.

You see, back in March, Donte` was in Miami driving drunk and speeding in his Bentley when he struck and killed a pedestrian.

In addition to an undisclosed settlement with the victim’s family to avoid a civil case, Stallworth lost his driver’s license for life (LOL) and received a sentence of 30 days in jail for manslaughter while driving drunk.  He’ll be required to serve 24 days.

Meanwhile, Michael Vick has lost over 100 million dollars, 2 years in a federal penitentiary and will be a social pariah for life.  Oh, and he’ll have to beg commissioner Roger Gooddell on bended knee (and probably with Roger’s dick in his mouth) for the right to play in the NFL again.

How is that justice?

I’m not defending what Vick and his associates did because it’s deplorable.  But we now have a second example of an NFL player driving drunk and hitting and killing a human being.  Donte`(and Leonard Little before him) both committed the same crime, a human died, and I don’t think they missed an NFL paycheck.  (My Auburn roots think it’s not a coincidence that these two shitasses went to Tennessee, but I digress).

And my question is, where is the People for the Ethical Treatment of People protest being held to shame the Browns and the NFL into taking a stand on this issue?

The answer?  Nowhere.  Why?  Because Peta folks are self righteous and elitest loons.

How do I know this?  Because I’m pretty sure that the next member of Peta that is diagnosed with cancer of the whatever won’t refuse the chemo and radiation treatments we use to cure the disease.  Those cures were tested and "perfected" on animals.

The same thing goes for the next fat Peta fucker that needs a bypass.  They didn’t test that shit on hobos and lepers (although that may be an awesome idea).  They tested those methods on animals. The same goes for doing stitches, organ transplants, vaccines, etc.

There is a responsibility that comes with being at the top of the food chain, being able to talk and having opposable thumbs.  But there is also the need to understand that you can’t have it both ways.

Like the bible thumpers that cling to their interpretation of a few passages in the bible while ignoring the rest, it does no good to throw fake blood at someone in a fur coat but then accept the vaccination your kid gets to keep them from dying of Meningitis or some other hideous disease.

So unless you Peta-ers are willing to sign some waiver that says "I accept everything that happens to me as a result of my refusal of all things that have ever involved the harming of any living creature past or present and this decision precludes me from basically all medical care and 90 percent of the food I need to survive," then please do me a favor and shut the fuck up.