Functionally ReTodded

Today on the interweb there is a story about a politician .  Here’s the story in a nutshell:

Man runs for Senate seat.  Has campaign staff in his employ.

Man wins Senate seat.

Sometime in the past year, said politician knocked boots with a member of his campaign staff.  (I’m assuming he used his campaign staff if you know what I mean.  Heyooooooh!)

Story gets made public.

Politician THEN apologizes AFTER he has been outed for it by saying:

"Last year I had an affair. I violated the vows of my marriage," Ensign said. "It is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it."

No fucking shit?  Really?  You got caught fucking an employee behind your wife’s back, and you’d like to take it back?

No.  What you’d like to take back is getting caught fucking your employee.  You don’t want to take back fucking your employee.  That went swimmingly well I assume.

Needless to say I’m no longer shocked when these narcissistic pricks inevitably get caught doing this shit.  I literally don’t think they can help it.

But what they CAN help doing is running the old "Extortion" flag up the pole.

(In my best blow-hard politician voice)

"Hey everybody.  Let’s not spend too much time focusing on the fact that I have such an overwhelming character flaw and weak spine that I cheated on and lied to the one person I shouldn’t:  my spouse.  Let’s focus on the fact that someone told me that they would tell the world about my cheating if I didn’t pay them.  THEY are the real criminals here."

This is literally no different than when a man cheats on a woman and that woman is mad at the person the man cheated with, not the cheater himself.  It fucking infuriates me that this continues to go on.  You can go back thousands of years, but we can start with the tear-stained, televised "apologies" of Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Gary Hart, Gary Condit, a not so teary but very literal Bill Clinton, and on and on and on.

If you want out, say it, get out, and THEN kick it with your old gym teacher / neighbor / bar whore / whomever.  Just don’t ask for our pity or for us to wag our finger at some other person for publicizing your ass-hattery.

Edit to add:  Dammit.  I really should have read the rest of the article.

It turns out that this dickhead was one of the loudest voices trying to make Larry Craig quit after Craig tried playing peepee-footsie at the Minneapolis airport.

Oh, and he’s a member of the Promise Keepers Ministry.  If you wanna get mad this morning, go check those shit-heads out.  But make sure your wife is at home darning socks and chopping firewood first.