Functionally ReTodded

Well, I don’t know if that’s completely true.  Since I don’t believe in the same deity that the folks at the Crystal Cathedral or the Vatican believe in, I don’t know if it’s Karma or some other thing.  Either way, nobody needs this crap.

We’re heading to Hilton Head island Friday(ish) and I took the van this morning for the usual rotate, balance, oil change, check the undercarriage.

Him:  Everything looks good, FRT…

Me:  Whew.  Glad you didn’t say I needed tires.

Him:  Except that you need tires.  The fronts are too worn and the back, while having more tread, are cupping badly. I wouldn’t hit the road with them like that.

Me:  (Sigh).  So, how much are new tires?

Him:  $140 each.  Installed, balanced and disposal fee included.

Me:  Seriously.  I don’t need the Goodyear GT Gatorbacks.  It’s a minivan for Christ sake.

Him:  (pulling out a pad of paper and writing)  Here’s the problem.  Your tires are 226/60/R17.  It’s the 17.  If that were a 16, I could put you in some multipurpose tires for $65 or so each.  Being that you have 17 inch wheels, that limits what we can put on it.

Me:  (frantically G-chatting the wife asking her to check costco for the same tires).

Him:  Tell you what, I’ll throw in the alignment for free.

Me:  (gets G-chat that Costco’s version of these are $137-$141.  This place is two miles from my house and five miles from my office.  Costco isn’t).  Alright.  How long will it take to put them on and do that?

Him:  About two to two and a half hours…

Me:  Alright.  I’ll wait.

Him:  But I have to order them.  They’ll be here around lunchtime.

Me:  Perfect.

So now I have to get a ride there and back at lunch and a ride there after work.  Plus, there’s the awesomeness of paying nearly $600 bucks for anything three days before you go to the beach.  I can picture it now…

Me:  Soup’s on, kids!!

Thing One:  Daddy, what is this?

Me:  Dinner honey.

Thing Two:  Daddy, mine smells funny.

Me:  That’s just because we’re near the ocean.  The salt air does that.

Thing One:  Why does that can in the trash say "Whiskas" on it?  We don’t have a cat.

Me:  Shut up and eat your kibble honey.  Remember, we’re on vacation?