Functionally ReTodded

I had two ideas for a post today.

One was about thing three being up all night resulting in today’s near hallucenatory state for me and my lovely bride.  Further, that I had scientific and empiracle evidence as to why he stayed up all night.

The second was about random things I hate.  I think that came to mind because I’m sleep deprived and crabby.

I’ll give you a second to guess which one I chose.  (You can hum the theme from "Jeopardy" here if you’d like).

In a close race, not sleeping thing three lost by a narrow margin to things I hate.  So without further adieu…

Dreamcatchers, baby shoes, beads, cd’s, feathered roach clips and anything else people hang from their car mirrors.

Jesus people.  You all drive bad enough as it is.  I don’t wanna get in a wreck with you only to find out that you were blinded by the sun bouncing off your CD necklace or that you couldn’t see my car thru that faggoty dream catcher.

Another is those Rest In Peace decals with the person’s name, date of birth and date of death.  Seriously, I’m sorry for your loss, but I don’t want to get more depressed than I already am while sitting in traffic reading about Jesus or somebody else that died at age 16.  And let’s be honest, for every one of these memorials that are for someone that died of a disease, there are fifty more that died racing their cars, robbing a liquor store or dealing drugs.

I hate the SUV rear window stickers that are a stick figure representation of the driver’s family.  This is the modern day version of that stupid ass "Baby on Board" window thing from 20 years ago.

I always wondered if people with those signs thought i would be more or less careful in my driving around them when I realized that they in fact had a young human on board?  And now, when I see stick mommy and daddy, three kids a dog and a cat, I just want to veer sideways and put them into a bridge abutment.

Being the father of two young daughters, I completely hate, abhor and am disgusted that little girls, tweens and teens are allowed by their parents to traipse about with their shorts waistband rolled over four times to reveal most of their ass, as well as the printed text across the top of their asses.  Further, they’re wearing wife beaters with their bras hanging out.

Seriously, I love seeing trampy over 18 girls dressed this way (also known as Facebook profile pictures) and encourage it.  But seeing 12 year old girls strolling thru the food court dressed like that with their moms at their side makes me want to vomit.  What kind of mixed message are we sending our kids?  Treat women with respect even though they carry themselves like pieces of meat?  Blech.

I hate (like yesterday) when I walk into the liquor store and, after looking and not finding any of the Woodpecker Cider, I asked the guy at the counter "Hey, do you carry Woodpecker Cider?"

He put Woodpecker Cider into the system, it came up, and he looked at me and replied "Did you not see any back there?"

Yes, Moo Goo Gai Pan.  I saw it back there.  But instead of grabbing some and bringing it up here and saving some time, I thought I’d waste a few minutes watching your meth-addled brain process a simple yes / no question and reply incorrectly.  Awesome.

That’s all for now.  I got stuff ta do.

Hugs,

FRT

p.s.  Thanks to Coal Miner’s Granddaughter for reminding me of another thing I hate.  It’s those "A House Divided" front license plates that have UGA on one side and Florida on the other.  I hate the regular ones plenty.  You know, the ones that say Auburn - Alabama or UGA-Tech or some other actual rivalry.

But the ones I hate are the retarded ones that make no sense.  I mean, can Mississippi State - South Carolina be a house divided?  They don’t even play each other I don’t think.  I see them on every fifth car and 90% of them are stupid with stuff like Florida State - Virginia.

So thanks stupid house divided marketing people.  I hate you too.
FRT