I don’t even really know what that title even means. I don’t. But I figured that if I titled the entry "If my three year old jumps on the couch again, my wife’s gonna go Casey Anthony on her beligerant ass" that someone might notify law enforcement or my parents or something.
What do you do with a three year old that simply is unaffected by time out, sitting in the corner, taking shit away from her, not letting her do things, etc?
Seriously. I have the most stubborn, pig headed, yet uber-sensitive if you condescend to speak harshly to her. Oh, and just to make you want to wrap a golf club around her head, she will cover her eyes with her hands, her blanket, or anything else and scream "STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!" over and over like Dustin god damned Hoffman yelling "HOT WATER BURN BABY!" if you dare to look directly at her while disciplining her for finding a giant sharpie and coloring all over the cabinets. Or dumping a bag of chex mix (cheddar style) all over the foyer, or stuffing her brother in a suitcase, or writing on her entire body (with the exception of her face) with a sharpie or asking for 12 different things to eat during the day and you make them and she doesn’t want them the second you put it on the table in front of her.
And that was just in the last 72 hours.
Seriously. Today she has spent 27 minutes in time out at one stretch (since we add a minute for every minute she’s not facing the corner). She’s like John Bender to our Richard Vernon .
And if you’d spent half an hour in the corner for jumping on the sofa, and as soon as you got out of the corner you jumped on the fucking sofa again, you can’t cry or be surprised when you end up in time out.
And when you come of time out that time, you seriously can’t be shocked to go back to time out 15 minutes later for JUMPING ON THE MOTHER FUCKING SOFA AGAIN1!!!!!11!!!!111!
I don’t really think baptist pre-pre-school is very important right now. Is there a grandparent, neighbor, or vagrant who’d like to borrow a cute little white girl?
And if that’s not an option, how long a drive is it to Nebraska?
Srry but that’s terribly funny. Sounds like a classic case of middle kid syndrome. There will be much more hell to pay sir… batten down the hatches!
The “terrible twos” is a misnomer. It should be the “thorazine threes”
Her super-ego’s bigger than your house right now and they’re all little sociopaths until age 6 or 7. It’s a self-limiting condition.
thanks a lot cashion. You’re big fucking help.
And PD, you couldn’t be more right. I just can’t decide who would benefit more from the thorazine. And sociopath is dead on. seriously.
Todd! It sounds like a case for the Super Nanny!……My daughter is in the Dumb Ass 21’s …..I’d like to ship her husband off to Nebraska….Let me know if you’re making the trip! I’ll pay for gas and beer
Jeff
Yep-time for SUPPER NANNY or at least read her book. Time out always seems to work for her. Is she potty-trained at least? My neighbor has a 4 year old great grandson who lives with her who won’t poop in the potty-NO WAY! Any suggestions for her?
Dude. I hear you. My 19-month-old is wearing. me. out.
My 19 month old’s biggest problem is standing on the couch. the 3 year old is the anti-christ.
OMG!! hilarious! finally! a blogger that tells REAL stories about their kids! i thought i was the only parent who comtemplated slipping nyquil into my toddler’s nightly diet. i have two kiddies, now young adults. one of them had the terrible twos till she was 13. and then she morphed into the tazmanian devil. OMG! my liver will never be the same! great post!
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