01
Jan
09

Happy 2009 everybody!!1!1111!

Well well well. Here we are. Just you and me and 365 opportunities to not follow through on my vow to blog every day for 2009. I think it’s probably a good idea to work this weekend on filling out a buttload of meems and save them as drafts so if I have something come up and I can’t post, I can just "go to the well," as they say.

Anyway, here are a few notes from our New Year’s Eve.

If ribeyes are $12 bucks a pound and New York Strips are $8 a pound and you’ve got a Big Green Egg at your disposal, go with the strips and use what you saved to get you wife some king crab legs.

If you invite new neighbors up for a little revelry, make sure neighbor Doug is there to peer pressure them into knocking back shots of Something Bay rum. It’s really tough not to like someone that does a shot 30 seconds after they walk into a room full of total strangers.

If someone pulls out a board game no one has ever seen and there are more than two different sets of cards and it’s after 10pm, do the smart thing and act like you didn’t hear anyone and go drink alone in the dark in the living room.

Funnily enough, moonshine that’s brand new tastes like ass and kills your ability to taste or dial a phone for five days and then sits for four years tastes not only smooth but actually has a taste now. I think it was apple.

There is never a good time to shoot Goldschlager. Even when your neighbor says "What’s the big deal? It’s just a shot that gives you fresh breath."

No matter how many adults tell you to let your six year old stay up until midnight, stick to your guns and don’t do it. It will never be worth the headache.

Next year, film your sister in law eating a lobster tail with her bare hands. It’s AWESOME!

If you’re at home by 1am and ready for bed, don’t let evil neighbor Doug and your wife chide you into RockBand-ing until 3:15am. Sure it’s fun, but getting up with three kids at 7:20 am the next day will feel like getting kicked by a donkey in the balls while someone drops a hot anvil on your head.

Talk yourself into being proud that you’re gonna be showered before the 1pm games have started.

Oh, and just to make it fun, I’m taking a beer with me in the shower.

Could life get any better?


1 Response to “Happy 2009 everybody!!1!1111!”


  1. 1 paul hughes Jan 3rd, 2009 at 1:27 am

    r u ever retodded. thx for the laugh!
    my 6 y.o. stayed up to 2.20am… but i only have one child and he just turned pro in sleeping in. i woke up before he did. what a champ.

    hey u lived to blog about it. HNY!

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