He needs to smite the hell out of Amy Winehouse. At this point, I almost don’t care if her songs could cure world hunger. But to be out of the hospital for three days after having been told "If you smoke and drink you will die," and then being photographed smoking and carrying three airplane bottles of liquor is beyond retarded.
That is all.
It might come as no surprise to some of you, but there has been some additional tension in both my written and spoken words recently. There’s been some tension at the homestead and it’s boiled over a couple of times and ultimately led to a pretty good CTJM (Come To Jesus Meeting) or two.
After what I consider some pretty introspective thought (which I wasn’t sure I could spell, let alone do), I came to a startling discovery:
Marriage and marriages takes work.
That may be oversimplified a ton, but you may (or may not) get the point.
GBD and I have been together for over twenty years now and married for sixteen. We’ve been through a ton of shit on this ride together, both good and bad, but I think we also lost sight of the marriage and not taken care of it.
Now you might say "What do you mean lost sight of your marriage? You’ve got jobs, a house, three kids, etc. Your marriage is looking you in the face every day."
Not so, grasshopper. My life (and the things IN my life) are looking me in the face every day and requiring nearly constant attention, but my marriage for the most part gets taken for granted, neglected, and set aside for some other time.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I get so caught up in work, the kids being fed, clean (sometimes) and dressed (also sometimes) and that the house is a mess or the yard looks like shit or that money’s tight, I forget to just stop and remember the stuff that matters, like my wife and my marriage.
Recently I have been getting more and more short-tempered and snappy with everybody, and after getting a second hiney hole chewed by the wife (amidst quite a few tears), it was apparent that I was letting things get to me that shouldn’t.
So I pondered and came up with my own little course of action.
Marriages suffer and receive damage (temporary and permanent) because of stress, stressors, and how we let those things affect us and how we handle them. Stress will kill you if you don’t do something to alleviate or at least minimize it, so it’s important to identify stressors in your life and do something about them.
Here’s how the little retarded flow chart in my head went:
Marriages, even on the best of footings, struggle and go thru periods of difficulty and people, even with the best of intentions, go thru periods containing various stresses and pressures. It’s imperative to recognize these and what cause them.
For example, being mad because the laundry’s piling up but not doing laundry is dumb. The same goes for money troubles. Recognizing stressors isn’t the end of the story. The key is to recognize them and do something about them.
For years, I used to laugh at people that said "You know, marriage takes work. You have to work on your marriage." I thought those people had just made bade marital choices.
Turns out, those idiots were right. Much like a kid or a pet or a plant (or even your aging parents), anything you neglect with fall into disrepair, illness or even die. To prevent that, you’ve gotta care, be assertive and attentive and you’ve got to be a giver and not a taker. (I know that last one’s gonna make Avitable vomit). That’s hard to do if you’ve spent your whole life as a taker at one level or another.
Also, you’ve gotta take baby steps. Much like debt and getting fat, it didn’t happen overnight. I personally have decided to adopt the "Leave it better than you found it" approach. That means that, while cleaning the entire downstairs would be great, it’s pretty good just to pick up a few toys on the way out of a room or put away a dish or two or whatever. That stuff adds up (I think).
Next up: I will kill Tony Robbins live on the internet and begin my own pirated motivational speaking webpage.
A guy that works his whole life to be the guy he was, and he raced until he died.
God bless you Scott Kalitta and your entire family.
Prayers with NYCWD
Unless you live under a rock or under Avitable, you know who Jessica Simpson is. She is the big-tittied daughter of a minister turned overbearing pimp of his children who was married to Nick Lachey and on that MTV show "Newlyweds" that showed us all how dumb naive she was about money and cars and life and sex and laundry and cooking and everything else.
She has also dated/not dated/dated/not dated Dallas Cowboy QB Tony Romo since the tragic end of her marriage to Mr. Lachey.
She’s a talented singer. You only have to watch this clip to know how talented she truly is.
Now, sarcasm aside, I actually like her and think a lot of her dizziness is an act. But she has taken five years of shit and smiled through it all. She’s spent her life lorded over by her pedophile of a dad who can apparently only talk about two things in interviews:
Jessica’s boobs are real and made her uncomfortable.
Jessica’s commitment to her virginity until marriage (this was obviously before the newlyweds show).
We agree on both counts, just so you know. Her boobs make me very uncomfortable, specifically when I hurt my penis while masturbating to them using cheap conditioner, shaving cream or just a handful of Newman’s Own dressing.
I was also committed to her virginity despite the fact that I knew Mr. Lachey planned to do permanent harm to her mysterious lady parts.
Enough about me. Today I’m stumbling thru my usual news reads: Wall Street Journal, Barron’s, The New York Times, AVN weekly, and WWTDD, and I found this horrid story on Fox News.
Here’s a photo because no Jessica Simpson story is complete without one:
Now PETA has their collective gay pot smoking hippie hemp panties in a knot and made Jessica public enemy number one, along with adding a list of the top five reasons why only stupid girls would brag about eating meat. Here’s PETA’s list (followed by my witty rebuttals):
1. Meat increases the risk of breast cancer. A 2007 study of 35,000 women published in the British Journal of Cancer found that women who ate meat were far more likely to develop breast cancer than women who consumed none. Will Jessica’s next t-shirt will say, "Real Girls Smoke 3 Packs a Day"?
I hope she does because T-shirts are funny, don’t hurt anyone, and who in their right mind is sitting around waiting to make dietary decisions based on what this girl has scrawled across her fun bags?
2. Real girls don’t support animal abuse. Compassion is super sexy , if the huge number of hot celebs ditching meat is any indication. Young women turn vegetarian in droves when they learn that the meat industry cuts the sensitive beaks off newborn chicks and cuts off the tails of baby piglets.
Hey you dumbass PETAs (who I am about to start calling PITA). You’re rotting from the inside out because you eat no protein. Unless you’re a vegan. But if you’re vegetarian, then you don’t mind fucking over fish and plants. You don’t think tomatoes have feelings? Or Chilean Sea Bass? And for every devout PETA person who lives like this, there are five carrying signs while wearing a leather belt or some $600 shoes made out of kitten scrotums.
3. The meat industry is destroying the Earth. The only thing that’s hot about the meat industry is that it’s toasting the planet . According to the United Nations, raising animals for food causes more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks, SUVs, planes, and ships in the world combined.
Absolutely and completely bullshit. There is no way on God’s not as green as it used to be earth that that’s true. If it is, I would contend that human farting is a thousand times bigger problem than animal farting. Why, my father alone is probably making Al Gore cry himself to sleep daily. Oh, and the next thing the UN says that’s true will be the first thing. Stupid dictators.
4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles . I hope the upcoming "Jessica Simpson’s Intimates" line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.
Fuck you again. If you ate 5,000 calories a day of asparagus and didn’t exercise, you’d get fat. That’s the trouble with trendy bandwagon clubs like PETA. They don’t like to let facts or, God forbid, MATH, get in the way of a good quote.
5. Eating meat steals food from starving kids. Jessica’s trip to help kids in Africa got a lot of media buzz, but by gnawing on meat, she’s essentially stealing food from the mouths of starving children since it takes up to 16 pounds of grain to produce just 1 pound of meat. If more people went vegetarian, we’d free up enough grain to feed every person in the world.
I’m pretty sure that the sabre-rattling dictators that run their countries steal way more food from starving kids than Jessica Simpson. Look at her for God’s sake. Do you think she walks into the Golden Corral and says to the guy behind the counter, "Hey Cutie. I’ll take the Old 96er please. And make sure I get plenty of grissle?" Of course not. Like any hot skinny chick with big tits, she probably does some blow before dinner, loses her appetite and then just takes a bite of the lobster before she purges and ends the night by giving the star quarterback a hand shandy under the table.
So my message to you, PETA, is to get off your high horse, stop lying, and do us all a favor and fuck yourselves mute.
What say you?