Functionally ReTodded

(If you are someone who is going to judge me or curl up your nose because I am about to make some social observations, I’ll save you the time.  Do not bother.  This shall not be politically correct at all).

Today I needed to hit the grocery store for some stuff.  Our normal Suwanee Kroger is about six miles away and there is more traffic than the one that is four-ish miles away and up in Buford.

We call the Buford Kroger the nasty Kroger because it’s, well, nasty.  The store is dated and undersized. The people that work there are astonishingly not right.  And most of the patrons (myself excluded of course) are some of the dregs of society.  It’s amazing that a place that attracts dregs also attracts me…out of convenience.

Anyway, I was there to buy the usual:  brie, caviar, Cristal, etc.  And on my way out of the store, I saw a couple of things that gave me pause.

One was just an observation.  There were a couple of women who were dark skinned, dark haired, and spoke a language not of our land.  One of them had a baby that looked about two weeks old, but they both had on skin tight black capris and belly shirts (and bras that didn’t match or fit but were nonetheless there).  Oh, and did I mention that they were four foot eleven and 200 pounds each?  And both had mustaches and back hair?

First, I was passing a slender fellow of color and two proud women of color and size, and within a second of each other and within ten feet of the store, both sistas hocked loogies.

That’s right.  These two "women" made that gutteral, snot-suckin sound and spit balls of phlegm on the ground.

Before I could even process that, I got to my car which was a scant four spots from the store.  That’s where I saw a young man who appeared to have a hand-rolled cigarette in his mouth sitting on the tailgate of his truck as he was waiting for a friend.

Of course, we all know this wasn’t a hand-rolled cigarette.  It was a bone.  A doobie.  A blunt.  A jet.  A joint.  You know.  Mary-wanna.

And what does his buddy do?

Climbs into the passenger seat, face forward, and rolls a fattie.

Right there in the Kroger parking lot just four spots from the store.

Seriously?  I’m looking at these kids thinking "Dood, unless you are so high that you think you’re invisible, there’s not really an excuse to be doing this here with so many office parks and such so nearby.

Anyway, that was my trip to the white trash Kroger.  What’d y’all do today?