Every year since we started filing a joint return, the wife and I have always intentionally not taken our full deductions out of our paychecks. You might find this hard to believe, but we aren’t the best savers. So we patriotically stupidly loan our gubment money in exchange for them sending me a lump refund in April.
We generally get a pretty nice refund and we use it for birthdays, anniversary, vacation or whatever. I’ve said for years that the first time the government asks me for money, I’m outta here. They get 26 chances to get their pound of flesh. Don’t expect me to cover for your mistake.
That said, this year is exciting. It’s as exciting as last year was nauseating.
You see, last year I changed jobs once and employers twice (I contracted for six months), and each one had different W-4 forms and insurance. Three W-4’s means I have three chances to fill it out wrong and fuck up our return. We also had a baby while on the contractor insurance, and that resulted in a testicle-shriveling amount of out of pocket expenses related to prescriptions, hospital stays, the NICU, etc.
So last night I’m sitting there with my new copy of TaxCut 2007 and a stack of documents. I work thru it the best I can, you know, for a guy who has never done his taxes and that has ADD can. I finish some itemized deductions and whatnot, do the state and fed, and the grand total is:
$3,600.00
What the fuck? We get double that and more every year. What the hell? I must have screwed up a W-4 or two.
Next step? Panic call to mein papa where I not so subtly invite him over for a gander. Since he’s doing the taxes of all of the semi-indigents in our county by day, I figured a tall scotch could get him to bird-dog mine.
After about two hours and NUMEROUS detected mistakes and omissions on my part, we were back in a refund neighborhood in which I would be happy.
But we weren’t done. I had totally forgotten that all medical out of pocket expenses in excess of 7.5% of your adjusted income were also tax deductible. Since I knew the boy cost us about ten grand out of pocket and that our prescriptions were 600 bucks or better a month, I figured we were gonna make some hay.
We still have to get some prescription info from our pharmacies, but I’ve currently accounted for about 16k in out of pocket medical expenses. While sad and nauseating, it’s exciting now.
Oh, and when you add to that the fact the E-filing has been getting refunds done in about 6-8 days, I figure I’ll be breast deep in $4,200 whores in no time.
I’m calling next weekend Spitzerpalooza.
Anybody wanna join me?
What say you?