I know I’ve talked about this before, so feel free to skip this if you’d like.
But I’m curious about our (and the media’s) obsession with this idiot. Further, I’m troubled and confused by people that are total strangers to Miss Spears giving a shit about her health, well-being, highs, lows, successes, failures, or anything else.
Why exactly does she deserve our pity? Beyond the fact that her mother sold her daughter to the devil (Hollywood) before said daughter was old enough to know what was happening, Britney’s had every possible advantage and benefit of the doubt one could hope to have.
She’s apparently got more money than God given that despite owning several homes that cost millions of dollars, she’s constantly staying at five star hotels all over Los Angeles.
She’s got bodyguards. She’s got lawyers. She apparently owns some sort of top secret cloak of stupidity that means no matter when or how you break the law in public and on film, the po po will do nothing about it. After all…she’s a celebrity.
My biggest complaint is that she’s a virtually talentless hack. Her claim to fame? Giving the 18-35 year old male demographic a two year boner following the release of “Oops, I did it again,” featuring an underage Britney Spears dressed in a slutted up private girl’s school uniform.
That’s not talent. That’s every insecure girl I went to college with at every Halloween party I ever went to ever.
Once she turned 18, she had a choice to either progress or play the same cards.
She chose “Not a girl, not yet a woman.” Blech.
I would contend that Christina Aguillera has more talent in her gratuitously oversized left breast than Britney has in her whole crazy body.
Oh, and Aguillera was also on the same career path as Britney at the same age, so obviously it wasn’t the Mickey Mouse club that made Brit this way.
I think Avril Levigne is exponentially more talented than Spears as well. Why? Because I am fairly certain she sings. Not so much for Britney.
Jessica Simpson is the Jonas Salk of talent compared to Britney. And she also proved that you can be stupid and have crazy stage parents and still turn out okay, so that’s not it either.
In the end, I think the best thing that could happen for Britney, her family’s interest in her money, her kids, the paparazzi, the hotels in LA, and anyone else around her is that she pull a Marilyn Monroe/John Belushi and just be done with it.
And don’t roll your eyes. The only reason any of you is watching that train wreck or reading this is to see if she can go Anna Nicole on us, leading the Ryan Seacrests of the world to untold hours of tv time regaling us with the spiraling descent into darkness, despair and death.
Oh, and the internet then giving us the Anna Nicole / Chris Farley crime scene photos.
I bet that’d make those pre-teen boners go away.
What say you?