One of the many surprising and unexpected benefits of working here at TWGCTWFE, Inc. (In case you’re retarded, that is The World’s Greatest Company To Work For Ever, Inc.) was the holiday gift from the company.
Every employee received a slick catalog with nine present options in it. Each employee selects one item and in four weeks that is what he or she get.
Now, this isn’t like choosing between anal bleaching and fifteen bucks off of a spiral ham. These are nice gifts in the $200 - $300 range.
My problem is, I can’t decide what to pick. So here’s where you come into the picture. I am going to list the gifts I have to choose from and you can make the selection for me. Please take this seriously, as I’ll feel more than a little stupid toting around the Dooney & Bourke purse.
Without further adieu, here are the items and a brief description:
Olympus digital camera – Obviously I don’t need this. It’s a nice camera, but I have almost as many cameras as I have iPods.
IPod Nano 8GB (silver only) – My above remark notwithstanding, I’m starting to feel that iPods are sort of like money or porn. No matter how much or how many you have of either, it’s impossible to refuse more.
Weber portable grill – meh.
Tailgate kit with two folding chairs – cool enough with a little grill and cooler, but I’m an egg guy and I’ve got more coolers than Avitable has dolphin porn.
Honora 36” pearl necklace – Just stop it. All of you.
Tiffany bracelet – This is actually a simple sterling silver bracelet that is quite nice. It would look good on GBD.
Swiss Army Traveler – nice travel carry-on bag with wheels. Retail’s like $199 and it holds two laptops, which would be nice for me.
Dooney & Bourke purse – This could have just as well been called the Wod5kl & Liuzsi purse, but all the ladies in the office were fawning over it.
Swiss Army Watch (Men’s or Women’s) – Also nice, and everybody likes watches.
So that’s it. I can’t decide and I’ve got to turn my sheet in by close o’ business tomorrow. What do you think I should get?
What say you?