So today I found myself wondering, “Will I, at any time, be able to string together more than 60 minutes of anything I want to do as long as any of my three children are in the house?”
I’m saddened to say that I believe that will never happen again, or at least not until I’m too old to hold my pee for more than said sixty minutes.
This is my nearly every day now:
Get up at 4:30-5:30am, depending upon when the lad arises for his pre-dawn meal. Whether or not I’m feeding him makes no difference, as I get up between 5:30 and 6am, so I can’t get back to sleep.
Shower between 5:30 and 6:30am. Then take the lad to his room or lay him in the middle of the bed between a bunch of pillows so he doesn’t fall of the bed and crack his head.
About the exact time I get downstairs for coffee, medicines and a little Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN2HD, either 1doh, 2doh, or both, awaken and join my day.
From that moment, it’s 2doh snuggling, breakfast making, kitchen tidying, dishwasher emptying, etc.
Leave for work around 7am.
Come home at about 5:30pm. Straighten kitchen, either wash stuff, empty the dishwasher, or clean up the den from the tornado that is 1doh 2doh.
We try to have dinner ready for the kids by 6:30, and then it’s bedtime at 7:30pm. Somebody puts 2doh to bed, reading too much and singing too much, because the second you close the door she’s out of bed screaming and crying and ends up sleeping behind the door, but until she falls asleep she is playing with the springy doorstop thingy, and you can hear that fucker in the next county every time she hits it:
TWAAAAAAANGNGNGNGNNGNG!!!!
Then it’s 1doh to bed or, if we’re feeling lazy, we sell her on 30 minutes of tv in exchange for no stories. Nice huh?
Finally, blessed quiet.
But by the time I get my first fart into the sofa, 3doh is in his “HEY LOOK AT ME!!!” phase, meaning one (or both) of us have to walk him around, snuggle him while walking around, change him, feed him, lather rinse repeat. Recently I’ve given in and I take him up and rub his head in our bed til he falls asleep around 9:30pm. Now the lights are off and I can’t wander away, so that’s it.
Glamorous, no?
What say you?