Functionally ReTodded

Over the last few weeks, 1doh has been saying “What?” all the time.  I mean all the freaking time.  I have been asking for years that she say “Pardon me” in the event that she doesn’t hear someone, as it turns out my parents were right.  It’s fucking annoying when your kids don’t listen and then just keep looking at Spongebob on the tube and continue to ignore you and say “Huh?” or “What?” over and over and over again.

The reason the “What?” and the general not doing what we say is annoying is that 1doh is perfect at school.  Seriously.  She obeys, listens, participates, helps, etc.  So we figured she was just doing this at home.

This weekend, we were all watching Saturday morning television and 1doh kept saying “Turn up the TV daddy.”

I said “No.  It’s already too loud and too annoying.”

Oh, and more than once we’ve said “Maybe we should take you to the doctor to get your hearing checked,” more as a threat than out of any real concern.

Later, after another bout with ignoring my orders to clean up the den, I went to her and said “I just don’t understand.  You obey at school, yet here it’s like mommy and I are invisible.”

Then Sunday, she looked at GBD and said “Mommy, I think I’m losing my hearing.”

Uh oh.

Fast forward to yesterday’s pediatric appointment for a hearing test.  Thanks to repeated ear infections and un-purged eustacean tube fluid, Lauren’s hearing currently measures at about 50% of what it should be.

So, two prescriptions to help get rid of the fluid and ease drainage later, and she’s already hearing better.  She told me so this morning.

My wife called me on the way home from the doctor to tell me the results and the cause.  I told her I would be late getting home from work, as I had to stop and buy 1doh a pony.

p.s. Based on past history, I’m pretty sure that when one (or all) of my kids comes to me complaining about not being able to see well, I will probably just wait until one of them walks into traffic or gets hit in the face with a frisbee like the ‘tard in the Howard Stern movie.

Happy parenting everybody!