Archive for November 9th, 2007

09
Nov

The four things meem

I am not sure I’ve done this one before, so here goes…

 

Four things about me you may or may not know MEEM

                                                                      

 

Four jobs I have had in my life:

 

I’d like it noted that I’ve had somewhere in the neighborhood of 27-28 jobs, so there are a lot to choose from.  I am going to list the ones that amuse me or might amuse you.

 

1)    Swenson’s Ice cream - Illegal and underage below minimum wage employee on weekends for a neighbor.  I frequently helped myself to pockets full of gumballs (used for the bubble gum ice cream) and those wafer / cookie things they stuck in the Sundays.  YUMMY!

2)    Fuddruckers – During my tenure there, I worked while high on a bottle of robitussen (it was all the rage in the mid 80’s), worked drunk on a Friday after splitting a bottle of Jack Daniels with my friend Hoss, sneaking screwdrivers in the walk-in cooler and ultimately having Hoss fire me while I was taking a shit.

3)    Bargaintown (Opelika, AL) – The only thing worse than working at Bargaintown would have been death, and I’m not sure death would have been much worse.  Just imagine folks putting 25 dollar radios on layaway.  For six months.  I saw people literally make layaway payments with change.  Ugh.

4)    SSL Americas – Makers of Durex condoms and other stuff, I had the pleasure of working with some great people for seven years and then working for the biggest fucking unethical and slimey douchebag on the planet.  Hey duckweed, since you are 55 and have recently gotten tattoos of a hammerhead shark and a lobster, what’s next?  Sea cucumber?  Mollusk? 

 

Four movies I could watch over and over

 

1)    Shawshank Redemption

2)    Office Space

3)    Wedding Crashers

4)    Field of Dreams

 

Four places I have lived:

 

1)    Anoka, Minnesota

2)    Auburn, Alabama

3)    Mission Viejo, California

4)    Suwanee, Georgia

 

Four TV shows that I watch:

 

1)    Survivor

2)    Football of any kind, including European

3)    Racing of any kind

4)    My Name Is Earl

 

Four places I have been:

 

1)    Cancun, Mexico

2)    Boston, MA

3)    Sandals, Royal Bahamian

4)    Chicago, Il

 

Four unique activities in unique places that you’ve participated in:

 

1)    Opening day at Wrigley Field in 1996.

2)    The first interleague baseball game at Fenway Park between the Braves and the Red Sox

3)    Game seven of the 1992 NLCS

4)    The first Auburn-Alabama game played at Auburn in December of 1989.

 

Four of my favorite foods:

 

1)    A ribeye cooked on a Big Green Eggs

2)    My wife’s butter chicken

3)    My dad’s leg of lamb.

4)    Chik-Fil-A (The number one large)

 

Four places I would rather be right now

 

1)    home

2)    sailing (just kidding.  Stupid bumper stickers).

3)    Boston, MA

4)    Hilton Head, SC

 

Four people I think will respond to this:

 

1)    My wife

2)    My Dad

3)    My mom

4)    My other mom

 

Things I am looking forward to this year:

 

1)    The redneck heptathalon (Bimini Ring, Horseshoes, Texas Horseshoes, Ladder Golf and the mailbox game).

2)    Lauren graduating from kindergarten and starting first grade.

3)    Having an anvil dropped on my head by Sophia

4)    Patrick’s first words.

 

Now, hit reply, delete my answers, fill in your own, and send it to a bunch of people.

09
Nov

You won’t accept someone’s tongue in your mouth, but you’re gonna eat that?

So today I’m sitting at my desk, planning my afternoon to the nth degree. The Dell repair guy was on his way to fix a few laptops and my backup tape guy was on the way to pickup some tapes for off-site storage and I was in the middle of ordering about 20 Blackberries and aircards, etc.

And then the wife called and said she was dropping 2doh and 3doh off at poppy and mawmaw’s house and surprising 1doh by showing up to have lunch with her.

I thought for a second and said “Why not? I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

So I headed out and met the old lady in the lobby and wandered back to 1doh’s classroom. She wasn’t there, as it was playground time.

The kids started piling into the room and it took her a good five or more seconds to notice the huge guy sitting in the one foot tall chair, but when she did, she ran over to me and jumped in my arms and gave me a huge hug. She didn’t even notice her mother. (High five).

Anyway, 1doh was VERY excited, as was I. I hadn’t eaten a school lunch in ages, but I’d seen the menus floating around our kitchen and figured “This has to be better than when I was in school.”

Plus, every day it was Pizza, Burgers, macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, chicken fingers, and plenty of other things I like.

Sadly, today must have been “Fuck you for surprising your kid for lunch without checking the menu day.”

Although the kids are required to take an entrée, two sides, a milk or water and a snack, parents can pretty much take whatever they want. If I wanted to, I could have just eaten a bunch of cheese, and then billed it to my kid’s account! I didn’t though.

Here were my choices:

 

Drink

Milk (chocolate, white and strawberry: all .05 percent fat. Blech. I got strawberry). At the register they said I could have gotten tea, but I was already green at that point.Entrée

- Nachos (little bag of corn chips with an icecream scoop of something that makes Taco Bell meat look Prime, as well as a tub of cheese).

- A ham and cheese wrap which I was in favor of…until I saw it.

- One of those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that you take out of the freezer at 7am that’s ready to eat by 11am.

Sides:

Rice with some crap in it (I assumed this was the default side with the nachos

Broccoli

Black olives

 

Snacks:

Some shitty fruit cup with pretty much peach slices in syrup

A bag of carrots.

Oh, but if I wanted to drop another seventy five cents, I could get an ice cream.

 

I got:

Bag o’ nacho chips + tub ‘ cheese + tub o’ mystery meat

Pile of rice stuff

The PB&J (just in case)

Strawberry water/milk.

Cost? Four dollars.

And no, I didn’t splurge on the ice cream. The shit I ate was about 1200 calories.

Was it worth it? Of course. I love spending time with one of my kids away from the other two. And they love it too. My girls are different people when the other one isn’t around whining and pushing and fighting and grabbing at them.

But to think that I had a free Chik-fil?A coupon in the car…

Maybe Monday.




 

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