Functionally ReTodded

I would like to state for the record that I am officially angry with my wife.

Scratch that.  I’m not angry.  I am pissed.  I am beyond pissed.  I’m furious.

You might be asking yourself “Why are you angry with your spouse, best friend, mother of your children and all around great gal?”

I’ll tell you.

Because two years ago, we both walked into Best Buy to look at computers.  She got a laptop.  I got a desktop.

The bitch.

And what’s worse is that she’s been uber quiet over this entire time as it relates to how totally freaking awesome it is to have a home laptop.

See, here’s the deal.  Now that I’ve been hired on full time at company X (and before that to a certain extent), I am very careful to keep my work and home computing lives separate.  My old job had no real policies in place pertaining to use of my laptop outside of the office.

My new company however has very clear and concise rules about using my work computer for “personal reasons.”  I will lump watching someone masturbate a dolphin at Avitable’s site into the “personal use” category.

So as my hiring became iminent, I decided that as an investment in me and my career, I needed a laptop.  That of course was a semi-tough sell to the wife who already had a laptop.

But I was reasonable.  After all, it’s not like I need to do CAD design.  I send email, blog, play on my messageboard (and a couple other ones) and accidentally stumble across things that make me want to gouge my eyes out with a hot poker.

So I hit the Best Buy, then Circuit City, then Best Buy, then Sam’s, then Best Buy again and picked up the Acer Extensa 5620.  200GB HD, 1 GB of memory, a 15.4″ screen (I confirmed this by comparing it to my penis, and the laptop is roughly one inch thick), a few USB ports, and Windows Vista Home Premium.  It was the second cheapest model they carried and it will do all I need it to do, it weighs six pounds, and I couldn’t be happier.

So for the last two years of you keeping this much joy to yourself woman, I say PFFFFFFTTT!

Have a great day everybody.  I have to go look for pictures of Britney Spears’ vagina.  Oh, and did you know that socialite Paris Hilton apparently had relations with a man and it was taped and sold to the public, and that man is now married to Pam Anderson, who also made a sex tape with her then husband Tommy Lee that was also released for sale to the public?

Man, the internet is a whacky place.