Functionally ReTodded

1. Where were you 2 hours ago? Sitting on the couch with 2doh watching a special about Def Leppard.

2. What do you think of your last kiss?
It was more tender than most “I’m on the way to work” kisses tend to be.

3. Do you kiss a lot of people?
Are we counting buttholes?4. Are you wearing socks right now?
No way. I’m barely wearing shorts.

6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Five days? WTF? My last movie was Sniper with Marky Mark minus the fun bunch.

7. What was the last thing you had to drink?
My ….nth Miller Lite.

8. What are you wearing right now?
Cargo shorts, a new white tshirt and my Auburn boxers.

10. Last food you ate?
I’m eating Cooley’s Pizza right now.

11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
GBD

12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Nuh uh.

13. Do you have a pet?
A fish. Dorie.

14. What did you do last night?
Caught a buzz and watched tv and talked to the wife.

16. If you could be anywhere you want where would it be?
At Fenway Park. Tonight.

17. What is the last thing you purchased online?
A set of Texas Horseshoes.

18. One thing you hate about yourself?
That I’ve been given a gift and just 22 months later, you’d never know it.

19. What’s your favorite soup?
Cream of Chickin.

20. Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

21. Last movie you saw?
I just told you, you fucker. Pay attention.

22. What are your plans for today?
Beers, blogging and some xbox, although I’m wasting time doing this.

23. Did you have fun today?
Sure. It was work, but I enjoyed it.

24. Who is your last text message from?
text message? I have a Blackberry, fucker.

25. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Um…in a word…no.

26. What do you know about the future?
Hopefully I’ll be in it.

27. Who was the last person under 18 you rode in a car with?
2doh. Today. Me with no wallet, a cold beer, and her in the passenger seat. High five.

29. Do you have a tan?
Are you fucking kidding me?

30. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
LOL. 51.

31. Did you meet anyone new today?
Yep.

32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I have four holes in one ear, and I desperately want a tattoo. I have for over 20 years.

33. How do you like your soda?
With scotch in it.

34. Do you like hot sauce?
Fuck no. I hate spicy.

35. What are you doing tomorrow?
Don’t know. Watching football and hanging out.

36. What day is tomorrow?
Saturday.

37. What is your current mood?
Relaxed and relieved.

38. Do you like someone?
Yep

39. Are you dating someone?
I’m married

40. Why?
Beats not being.

Random Part #1

Would you ever chew gum after someone else already has?
I can’t tell you how many times I have. I’ve chewed tobacco after someone else. Is that wrong?

What word describes your relationship status?
Knowing.

Do you have a dog?
We have a dog-in-law.

Are you a heartbreaker or the broken heart?
neither.

Earrings or a necklace?
pearl?

Who have you talked to most today?
Rosa

Friend of the opposite gender who lives closest to you?
Maureen. By far.

Color of your shirt?
White.

What are the languages that you know?
I speak English and….wait…nothing.

Who’s number 2 on your speed dial?
Speed dial? WTF? I just say “Call Asshole” and my phone dials my BIL.

What is your background on your main computer screen?

Captain Kirk saying “I can’t hear you because of how awesome I am.

Have you ever wished on 11:11?
no.

Have you ever gone camping?
Yes. Twice. I will go again.

Are you a bad influence?
Yes.

What color are your eyes?
blue

Random Part #2.

Would you rather have your name or a celeb’s name?
I’d take anyone’s name over mine.

Would you do anything for someone?
Okay.

Have you ever been cussed out?
More times than you can count.

What’s your favorite color?
Red.

Do you use smiley faces on aim or another instant messenger?
Almost never.

What song is on?
Kickstart My Heart, by Motley Crue.

Did you have good grades?
Not really.

Would you date anyone of your myspace friends?
Yes. Jenna Jameson. But nine years ago.

Does your best friend have a myspace?
No.

Whose page did you last visit?
TAZ

When was the last time that you went out to lunch?
Last Friday.

Do you watch the Gilmore Girls?
No. And I don’t have a vagina either.

Have you ever listened to the Goo Goo Dolls?
Of course. Iris is a favorite song of mine and their live version of “Give a little bit” was the first song 1doh knew by name.

Have you ever watched the O.C.?
Fuck no.

Do you own any Britney Spears c.d’s?
Are. You. Kidding. Me? Seriously?

Random Part #3.

What radio stations do you like?
iPod. Period.

Have you ever watched Lost?
Oh yeah. Good tv.

Do you have pictures of your exes?
nope.

Do you have Ozzy Osbourne on your mp3 player?
Yep. A bunch.

Do you watch Family Guy?
It’s on the record and never delete part of the dvr.

Do you read romance novels?
Oh GOD YES!! Just kidding. NFW.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
I sing OFTEN in the car. That’s different.

Did you draw pictures for your crushes in preschool?
No. I fell in the toilet in kindygarden.

Have you ever not asked someone out because you were scared of rejection?
sure.

Have you ever written a story or poem about your life?
Nope.

Have you ever spent over an hour consecutively thinking about a crush?
Only while masturbating. 45 Times.

Have you ever liked someone just because of their appearance?
Everyone.

Do you eat every serving of the food group on a daily basis?
Ummm…no.

Are you a freak about cleanliness or organization?
HAAAAAA

Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
nope

Random Part #4.

Do you know how to knit?
I know how to fart. Is that the same.

Do you have a cell phone or iPod cover from Louis Vuitton?
No. I’m not black or gay either.

Have you ever written lyrics to a song and then played it on a guitar?
Nope.

Do you keep an online diary or journal?
Sort of. I have a blog. I should do better.

What color is the interior of your closet?
builder tan.

Baskin Robbins or Ben & Jerry’s?
taz said BJs. They’re asking about ice cream, you whore.

Physics or chemistry?
Huh?

Earphones or headphones?
I wan’t some bose earbuds.

Pink or green?
Pink. (She’s hot).

A bracelet or a ring?
Ring

Commitment or casual dating?
As long as I’m gettin’ some, who cares?

Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?
Sweet jeebus. I hate every word of both. That shit bugs me bad.

By airplane or bus?
Airplane. Unless you’re in college and drunk. Then the bus rocks.

Do you like Starbucks?
Sure. But it’s not 4 bucks better.

What is your favorite Disney classic?
Is “We closed the park forever” a title?