Functionally ReTodded

Let me just say that this may be the greatest college football season in the history of college football seasons.

“Why is that, FRT?” you might be asking yourself.

Well, I will tell you.

You see, the highly touted but shiteous Notre Dame Fighting Irish (I struggled deciding whether to capitalize that or not) are now oh and mother fucking five.

Read that again. Oh and five.

The worst start in the history of Notre Dame football. Ever. Seriously. They have never ever started oh and five. And they still get to play UCLA, USC and a hungry Stanford team.  This team could lose seven or maybe eight games.

And the best part of all?  The fans/lunatics that support/fund the program.

See, they had a fine coach who won games and recruited and got kids graduated.  He went 9-2 two years ago.  But he was black.

And they fired him.

Enter Charlie Weiss.  The white Catholic Notre Dame alumni was the obvious choice to replace Ty Willingham.  So Notre Dame offered Weiss a shit-pot of money, he came in, went 8-3, and the loons offered him a ten year bojillion dollar extension.

And now, Ty’s players are all but gone, Charlie’s guys are playing, and Notre Dame sucks donkey balls.  They’ve played five games this year and have scored thre offensive touchdown passing and and two rushing.

It’s literally the best thing that could ever happen ever.

p.s.  Tim Cleary, you were, are, and always will be an asshole.  I love this for you more than anything.