Functionally ReTodded

As the wife and I were sitting here chuckling over a few comments from ESPN’s The Sports Guy and his latest column, we started thinking about a few funny things that happened during this vacation.

Here are a few in no particular order:

I walked out of our room during a moment where Lauren had just gotten out of the tub and was not yet dressed, Sophia was on the floor in a diaper but no pajamas, and the wife was off somewhere looking for said pajamas.

As I came out of the room, I saw 1Doh bent over holding her butt and displaying her umm…butthole about six inches from her sister’s face. I said “LAUREN!! Stop showing your sister your brown-eye!” I immediately heard laughter from the wife in the other room.

This morning at 6:30am, 1Doh got up and came into our room and climbed into bed, and about five minutes later started saying “I need my beebee,” over and over again.

After about ten or fifty of these, I said “Baby, you don’t need your beebee.”

She replied “Daddy, I love you. But I need my beebee.”

Sophia farting in my wife’s lap at the pool so loudly that the other people around the baby pool all simultaneously snapped their heads around. (Or at least that what my wife said).

1Doh asking nineteen miles from our Tae Kwon Do “Are we almost home?” Then, rougly 30 miles from home asking “Daddy, are we near the beach?”

I’m sure I’ll think of more.

Oh yeah, on day one the elder urchin had been out on the porch coloring and had been inside for a while, and while she was inside, someone closed the sliding glass door.

Then, about 15 minutes later, 1Doh got up to head back out for more coloring and hit the middle of the door at a four year old’s excited pace right with the end of her nose.

Yes it was sad right then, but later when we reflected on it, it really was funny. Especially when she insisted on drawing a picture of a girl with an X thru her and hanging it eye high with a band-aid, mostly to remind her not to walk into or thru said sliding glass door.

My mom saying “You guys enjoy the rest of your week. Let me know if you find my black bra.”

Yikes.

Me losing and not losing my ring and my iPod as well and then writing my obscenity-laced tirade about the latter.

More to follow…