Functionally ReTodded

I was going to write about this yesterday, but I was too fucking tired to do so. And I want to write about it today, but I’m even more tired than I was yesterday.

Let me start with a medical update. (If you stumbled upon my blog over the last six months, you must think I’m an 83 year old hypochodriac woman, but I assure you I am not).

I spoke with my actual doctor this morning. You know, the one that’s already saved my life three times in less than a calendar year? Yeah. Him. He reviewed my ultrasound with the radiologist yesterday. The good news is that I’m not pregnant, but the bad news is they’re still not sure what it is. They’re 99.9 percent sure of what it’s not, and that’s a blood clot and a tumor. They think it’s got “cyst-like tendencies,” but they’re not sure it’s a cyst.

So during our conversation, I said “If you want to poke it or drain it or test it or something, I’m all for it.”

Luckily he’s a cool-headed man. He said “Let’s keep an eye on it until Monday afternoon. Then you come in and we’ll evaluate it further and see if I want to take you up on your offer then.”

What a great guy. I feel better already.

Yesterday my day also consisted of getting an ultrasound, calling all day for results, stopping at the doc in a box for said results, rushing home, rushing to pick up my nephew from football, eating, rushing him to the same doc in a box for a badly sore throat (viral something or another), then off to the Krogers for some kickass throat syrup with codeine.

My favorite part was, as we were leaving the Krogers, he grabbed a flyer about insomia and helping people sleep. I said “Dude, when did YOU start having trouble sleeping?”

He replied “Oh I sleep great. I’m just always looking for ways to get better and more of it.”

What a great kid.

Anyway, I get home and the wife and mom-in-law have gotten the girls to bed, which is awesome. We were both exhausted.

See, the night before, we stayed up working on various projects until just after midnight. Between midnight and 5am, urchin 1.0 (aka The Ninja) paid us SEVEN freaking visits!!! Those seven included two that involved her decision to make her room “dark.” That mean that GBD had to turn off the lamp (10 watt bulb) on the dresser and swap her orange nightlight for the white one in the hall.

Don’t ask me. I have no idea.

30 minutes later, she was in our room again (my turn), and I sat up and said “LAUREN!!! GO!! TO!! BED!!!”

And she cried. A lot.

So I got up and followed her back to her room where thru snot and tears she explained that she didn’t want the room dark anymore and that she wanted her nightlight back.

At 3am.

So I switched everything back and got her to stop crying and back to bed.

When work came yesterday, it was early and I was tired as shit, as was GBD, so (as I mentioned before) we were both anxious to relax.

Unfortunately, 2.0 had other plans.

Roughly every 30 minutes from 10pm until 2am involved a wake-up and screamfest meaning someone had to get up and get her pacifier. I think it’s her teeth that are bothering her and the tylenol and teething tablets just aren’t doing the job.

Plus, she got up at just after midnight and then again at 4:15am to eat. That means that at six months of age (almost), she’s reverted to the habits of a 2.5 month old.

This morning she got up early (as did 1.0) and GBD decided to try the cereal in her formula again to see if that would help with the whining all day and eating and being awake at night.

I’ve got everything including my balls crossed hoping this will work. Something’s gotta give here. Me and the Maja need some sleepies.