Functionally ReTodded

This is nephew 2.0 trying to win a bet with his dad. UnkTodd bet 2.0 five bucks that he couldn’t get five balloons stuck to his face and head using static electricity. Finding quickly that it wouldn’t work but desperate for the fin, the nephew resorted to illicit tactics: SCOTCH TAPE!!

Here’s one I took for Ethel and forgot to send her. I saw this while she was deep in the throws of passion with her hobby of knitting. I figured that this would get her all hot and bothered, kind of like an obscene phone call:

Here’s one I forgot about of me post op on a respirator:

Now that 1.0 is very efficient with her coloring and using scissors, she’s resorting to making her own superhero costumes. Here’s the custom mask:

And finally, in case some of you forgot, here’s the reminder of my true brilliance. Do you think that MENSA will accept a screenshot as myapplication? (chuckle)

After literally weeks of trying to get all of the pictures off of my cell phone, I finally finished the job and thought I’d spend some of Friday posting some pictures to keep my family members up to date.

If you don’t want to look at pictures today, please feel free to go somewhere else for a while. It won’t hurt my feelings.

Here’s a picture of Dora and Boots that 1.0 drew from memory yesterday.

Here’s one of Lauren and Sophia at Lauren’s birthday breakfast at Waffle House on Sunday.

This one is Lauren catching Georgia snow flurry flakes. Well, not really catching them. More like running around with her tongue out and me praying she doesn’t fall down and bite the thing clean off.

Here is Lauren on the Chuck E. Cheese one token ride called “around the clock three times at a really slow speed.” The only reason it was fun is that every time she got to the top she yelled “HELLO DOWN THERE!!!” When she did that, I had to reply “HELLO UP THERE!!!”

Good times.

And this one should get DFACS called. Well, maybe covering her eyes will protect me. Let it be known that I didn’t give 1.0 the idea to do this, nor did anyone else. No one showed her how to do it either. Apparently every kid does this when they pick up bottle tops.

(Maybe Anheuser Busch would like to use her in the first Bud Select commercials!!)

Last night was no workout night. I got tired of fighting dinner and the need to watch “Survivor” on Thursdays, so now Thursday is my off-day.

We decided to get Mexican food for dinner last night and headed (with our across the street neighbors) the the dive-like Mexican place next to the Waffle House in the Goodwill store’s parking lot. THAT should tell you something.

And it was awesome, as usual. Great salsa and cheese dip, fresh chips, a fantastic number eleven plus my wife’s leftover nachos. As UnkTodd said “we’re eating like we’re on death row.”

But as we sat I watched, simply astounded, at the amount of chips and cheese dip my daughter was consuming. One after the other after the other, she reminded me of one of those pacific northwestern tree shredders. I asked / told the wife that I thought 1.0 was eating too much crap and should save some room for dinner…shouldn’t she??

The time came to order her dinner and we went thru the usual conversation about what to get for her. 1.0 usually gets a taco or a cheese quesadilla. Tonight though, the wife says “How about cheese nachos?”

I replied “But babe…that’s all she’s had since she got here: a bushel of cheese dip and nachos.”

The wife countered with “But she’s eating, isn’t she? Who cares? If she doesn’t eat it (unlikely), we’ll order her something else.”

I replied “Well, I guess it’s okay. I mean, cheese nachos is just a quesadilla in a fried rather than pan cooked tortilla and cut up with cheese to dip it in rather than having the cheese on the inside. We’re really arguing semantics…aren’t we?”

And so the urchin had the meal of her dreams: An appetizer of chips and cheese dip, a dinner of cheese nachos and coke, and getting to sit next to Nick and across from Jack.

Both urchins were down by 8pm and 1.0 didn’t make any ninja appearances throughout the night. 2.0 slept until 5:15am, took a bottle and went to sleep in our bed right where I had been. The wife thought she felt cold. I just thought she looked cute.

More to come today as I hope that work will stop interfering with my inherent need to screw off, especially on a Friday.

Shalom everybody!!