A couple of weeks ago, my BIL’s brother (we’ll call him Uncle Rodge) went to the Florida Keys with his wife.
They saw lots of neat stuff, but one thing they enjoyed was the t-shirt shops. The reason they enjoyed them is that 99.999% of what they had for sale was completely inappropriate even for the store displays, let alone to wear in public.
That said, they both saw one particular t-shirt and laughed out loud, and then immediately agreed that only one person they knew could wear that shirt.
And that person was me.
Would you like to see the t-shirt?
Okay. Here ya go!
How’s THAT for a great t-shirt that was so obviously made just for me?
(The funny thing is that another group of folks I know on teh internets got together and decided that this shirt was perfect for me too. Coincidence? Me thinks noot).
I can’t believe how lucky I am, but I got an email this morning that could change my life. I’m supposed to keep all of this on the down low, but since we’re friends, I thought I could tell you guys.
Here’s the message:
My dear,
Before I introduce myself, I wish to inform youthat this letter is not a hoax mail and I urgeyou to treat it serious. I am aDirector inProcurement Department with Petroleum Ministry.I obtained your email while searching for areliable person, who could assist mein receiving transfer of a supposed contractawarded funds. This fund came as a result ofover estimated contract awarded sums executed byforeign contractors in the Petroleum Ministry.The concerned Ministry has approved these overinvoiced funds for payment. The contracts whichthe over invoiced sums was created from has beenexecuted and commissioned. What I am about toreceive now, is the over estimated funds whichwas added during the process of obtaining thecontracts for my own interest. This is a normaldeal that goes in my Ministry by top officials.
On my part, all modalities have been worked outin ensuring a smooth conclusion of the contractpayment to your bank account within the nextfew days. My department approves payments tocontractors, and I happen to head the department.All I want from you is to receive these funds onmy behalf as a Sub-Let Company, because asGovernment Official I cannot collect the fundsdirectly from my Ministry, neither I am allowedby Law to operate/ run foreign bank accounts.If you are trustworthy and can assist me inreceiving the fund, do not hesitate to respondback to me immediately.
Please note that there is no risk involved inreceiving the over estimated contract funds inyour account. I want you to state in percentagewhat you shall have for participating in usingyour bank account to secure the funds. As soonas you indicate your interest, further detailsand the amount involved shall be given to youonce I receive response from you. I hope I cantrust you to treat this proposal with utmostconfidentiality.
Lookingforward to hearing from you soonest.
Best regards,
Engineer VictorDyro
How about that, suckers?!?!?
I read this morning where a guy did this once a week, and I thought it might help me too. I don’t know how, but I’m guessing it could amuse me for a week or two.
Why is my desk such a shit-box? I mean, I’m 37 years old now. Shouldn’t I be able to keep a reasonably small double cube area clean?
Here are some photos of my desk as we speak going from left to right:
Why are there people at work that soak the counter with water but won’t clean it up? I mean, every day I come in to make my whole wheat bagel square, and there’s a huge puddle on the counter.
Why will our kids sleep in on days that we have things to do, but when there’s jack shit going on, they both get up at 5:15am?
Why is it impossible to keep leaves out of our garage, even though we have no trees?
When is my accountant going to call me and tell me a) when she’s e-filing for us and 2) when I can expect my refund?
This is starting to sound whiney, and that wasn’t my intent. I’ll be back with some non-whiney stuff later…
But this year my allergies really seem to be kicking my ass.
I took allergy shots for a couple of years in highschool and early college, but I quit. The stress of getting two shots three times a week combined with the 45 minute “could you sit in our waiting room and make sure nothing happens to you (meaning anaphylactic shock)” was more than my needle-puss tendencies could bear. And since then, I’ve been more or less okay. I simply don’t give in and if I do, I take a contact or Drixoral or some such thing.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m less substantial this year. I don’t know. But right now, I’m taking Allegra, Flonase, Sudafed and ibuprofin in addition to my aspirin (325mg), Lopressor (half twice a day) and Lexapro.
I’m not sure if that’s all okay either. Heck, I’m pretty sure it’s not. The magical change came when I took a sudaphed this morning. Now I feel like I stumbled into a small Teaspoon of codeine cough syrup. And my eyes, good lord are my eyes dry. I’m tempted to take my contacts out as we speak, but I fear that falling dead asleep at my desk in my glasses could result in a more serious personal injury than if I did that with the contacts alone.
This occurred almost immediately after returning home from the wife’s 30th birthday party. I immediately went to bed and this photo was taken by my wife and his wife. Or by my wife OR his wife. Either way, someone’s wife took it and that wife was not me.
I only talk to this guy about once a month now, and I’m 99% sure he doesn’t read my blog, so there’s almost no chance he’ll ever see this.
And if he does, maybe he’ll come over to watch some sports and meet urchin 2.0 sometime.
What say you?