I know it’s all the rage nowadays to wear clothes that say things on them. Seeing some hot chick wearing short shorts that say “hottie” across the ass is one thing, and seeing a stadium full of my nephew’s female classmates wearing them is quite another. It’s especially frightening for the father of two very young girls. I mean, what’s next? Nudity?
Anyway, my point here is that on the right person, those shorts or shirts that say things can be cute or funny or downright sexy.
Here’s what I just saw at the Krogers. Wanna guess what her shirt said?
Give up?
It said “NAUGHTY” in really big letters. Oh, and she had a really cool tattoo “sleeve” on her right calf.
Pardon me while I sit down for a minute. I’ve got a woodie.
Today is the culmination of birth-nukah. That’s how I refer to 1.0’s nine day extended birthday gala. Anyway, since she didn’t wake me up last night at all and it’s her special day, we went to Krispy Kreme for breakfast and so 1.0 could show 2.0 how donuts are made.
On the way there, we had a near incident in the car thanks to some Hall county goober that decided “Hey, I need to get two lanes to the left, but there’s not room. So I will stop in the middle lane of a five lane road and just sit. Eventually SOMEONE will let me over there.”
Or kill you by accident or on purpose.
I narrowly avoided a wreck with my IPDE skills and my driving ability, but on the way by I offered a little honk or two.
From the back seat, 1.0 said “Wow Daddy. You’re the bestest honker in the world.”
I wish someone told me that every day.
This is the best picture I’ve gotten recently of the two urchins together. Ain’t it sweet?
This is nephew 2.0 trying to win a bet with his dad. UnkTodd bet 2.0 five bucks that he couldn’t get five balloons stuck to his face and head using static electricity. Finding quickly that it wouldn’t work but desperate for the fin, the nephew resorted to illicit tactics: SCOTCH TAPE!!
Here’s one I took for Ethel and forgot to send her. I saw this while she was deep in the throws of passion with her hobby of knitting. I figured that this would get her all hot and bothered, kind of like an obscene phone call:
Here’s one I forgot about of me post op on a respirator:
Now that 1.0 is very efficient with her coloring and using scissors, she’s resorting to making her own superhero costumes. Here’s the custom mask:
And finally, in case some of you forgot, here’s the reminder of my true brilliance. Do you think that MENSA will accept a screenshot as myapplication? (chuckle)
I just re-read that title and thought of how funny that would have been if Thylvethter was thaying the linethhh…
Anyway, here are some more pictures:
Here’s our little chunk in her new tub seat
Here’s 2.0 right after she took a shit in the sales manager’s office at our car dealership during the testy negotiations. It took all the willpower I could must not to hide that diaper somewhere in the office so it’d stink the place up and be tough to find.
Here’s one of my nephew with the 1,000 yard stare while enjoying Spongebob the movie in the car.
I have always wondered how kids breathe when they fall asleep like this:
And here’s one of me hauling the little oinker around in that swedish S&M device, the baby Bjorn. (wish I cared enough to find the umlaut, but I don’t).
Give up? 
What say you?