Functionally ReTodded

Here is the actual cast of this show.

Sherman Hemsley - a.k.a. George Jefferson

Alexis Arquette - hermaphroditic sis/bro of Rosanna, Patricia and David Arquette Cox. Wait, I’m just receiving word that Alexis still has a penis. That means that either his parents gave him the worst name ever for a boy or they were very VERY prophetic. You decide.

C.C. DeVille - classically trained guitarist formerly with Poison and sniffer of maybe a trainload of cocaine. Oh, and he’s a bit high strung.

Steve Harwell - lead singer of Smashmouth, a band I thought was still somewhat relevant but is obviously not based upon his presence on this show.

Tawny Kitaen - Starlette we met and fell in love with from the movie Bachelor Party. Waxed former husband David Coverdale’s Jaguar convertible hood with her vagina, and nearly wrecked the Anaheim Angels when it was discovered that she had kicked former husband Chuck Finley’s ass. Regardless of whether she’s even crazier than Janice Dickinson and Omerosa combined, she’s is still on the legends Top Five card I keep in my hope chest.

Andrea Lowell - Apparently she’s not a “used to be” famous girl, but a “never was really famous” girl as the “star” (and I use that term loosely) of Playboy TV in some fashion or another.

Florence Henderson - apparently has too much dignity to be on the show full-time, but enough free time to be on “periodically to counsel the housemembers.”

The website says “mystery hunk” for the next person, but it’s just Maven. Don’t know Maven? He’s the never was that won the first season of “Tough Enough.” Don’t know what “Tough Enough” is /was? Well, it was one of the first off-shoot reality shows and in this one, folks battled to win a WWE contract which meant they would beg to be Vince McMahon’s bitch. And that’s what he did / was.

Quite a list, eh?

The first episode had Maven and the Playboy skank naked already, and there were highlights from later in the season that showed:

a) the pretty people getting naked
b) the crazy people getting nucking futs.
c) the pretty people getting way too drunk with / near / around the crazy people.
d) Florence looking for an ass-whipping from the Playboy skank.

Should be a great season of fun now that I don’t have “Flavor of Love” to keep my attention anymore.

Oh, is there any chance we’ll see Tawny Kitaen naked, even if it’s low cable tv channel naked?

Absolutely, and that alone is reason enough to watch…

I’m sorry I couldn’t get a picture of the 2nd degree burn in my esophogus, so you’ll just have to take my word about that. However, here are some shots of a little food and other stuff.

Here’s the second batch of beggies i was trying to sear. The first batch were improperly seasoned (as in I forgot to do it), so I threw them in the yard. Sissy the wonderdog found them two days later, ate them, and then presented them to me, in my house, twice, in the form of HUGE piles of vomit. Thanks Sis.

Here’s our six pounds of corned beef just simmering away around hour four of seven.

Here’s our corned beef when it was done. Two words: DEEEE LISH!!!!

Here’s urchin 1.0 enjoying her newfound secret snack: carrots!!

And here’s a picture I took of Sophia and myself where she looks nothing like herself and she looks normal sized, which she is most assuredly not.