I was reading my favorite news site (Fark dot com) this morning and stumbled across a story from The Smoking Gun (who broke the James Frey / Oprah scandal) about a guy in Iowa who was being held in jail for assault and robbery.
Then they showed his mugshot:
And then I’m thinking to myself, what do his parents think? Do they ask him to step out of family photos? What about conferences at his kid’s school? How do the teachers respond to that?
And then there’s the whole “of course he’s a criminal!! Where’s a dude with “Fuck You!!” on his forehead gonna work? Chik-fil-a? Blockbuster?
Anyway, this made me laugh so I thought I’d share. I hope he enjoys his time in PMITAP prison. (For those that don’t know, that means “Pound Me In The Ass” Prison). Maybe some big fella will knock the fuck you off this guy’s face.
Later.
I was working on the laptop of a guy at my office and we were talking during the “work,” when he said something like “How many jobs have you had?”
“A lot,” I replied.
“I’ve had a lot too,” he said.
I always thought that I’d had a lot of jobs. Then he proceeded to show me a list of all of his jobs. He is a little older than me (maybe five years), but his list of jobs was extensive.
See, since I was 25 years old, I’ve only had two jobs. But between 13 and 25 years of age, I had jobs o’ plenty.
And that got me thinking. How many jobs have I actually had?
And the thing about looking back and trying to remember jobs is that it’s similar to trying to recount or remember sexual partners (I assume). A job / person or two always gets overlooked.
Anyway, just to get the ball rolling, I am going to list jobs that I had over the years to the best of my recollection. If at some point I remember more, I will simply copy and paste the old list into a new entry and add the recently recalled job.
Enjoy everybody!
(I am going from most recent to oldest as best I can).
- Hardwood Lump Charcoal Sales and Distribution
- Catering
- Computer Systems Consultant
- Network Administrator for world’s largest condom manufacturer
- IT Tech Support rep for worst RF equipment manufacturer in America
- Customer Service rep for Primerica Life Insurance
- Telemarketer (for about 30 minutes)
- Customer Service Manager for phone-based job listings search company
- customer service rep for 800 and 900 number service provider
- Bouncer and Waiter for Atlanta sports bar
- Customer Service Rep for Mitsubishi in Irvine, California
- Customer Service Rep for Toshiba in Irvine, California
- Bouncer and Waiter for Atlanta sports bar
- Waiter at Buckhead Mellow Mushroom
- AP clerk for the IRS in Atlanta
- Stocker for Turtles records and tapes
- Pizza kitchen and appetizer”chef” at Denaro’s Restaurant in Auburn, AL
- Pizza Delivery guy for Morton’s Pizza in Auburn, AL
- Shift Supervisor / area designer for Pizza Hut Delivery
- Stock boy at Bargaintown in Opelika, AL
- Landscaper / shrub planter / pinestraw spreader
- Order taker at Pizza Hut delivery
- Busboy at Fuddruckers in Atlanta
- Runner / cleanup guy at J.C. Penny’s in Atlanta
- Bagboy at Kroger in Atlanta
- Dishwasher at Mario’s Italian Ristonrante
- Dishwasher at Swenson’s Ice Cream in Atlanta
I think that might be it. Actually, I’m fairly certain that’s not it at all, but until I hear from someone who hired me or fired me or laughed when they heard about either, this’ll be the list.
How about you? How many jobs have YOU had? Can you list them?
What say you?