Functionally ReTodded

If you didn’t, you might have missed one of the ten best moments in reality tv history.

I didn’t watch the whole thing. )I was busy reading some very funny stuff on the internet that I’ll discuss in a later blog).

I’ll assume that anyone reading this knows what “The Apprentice” is. If you don’t, you and I are obviously not friends, so you can click on “Next Blog” in the top right corner and read about V1@gra or mort@g e lending or something.

Anyway, the two teams were tasked with maximizing sales in some sporting goods store. One team was given the golf department (even though not one person played the game or knew anything about it) and the other was given the baseball department.

Anyway, despite knowing nothing about golf, team one increased sales over 70% during their time period.

Team two decided to build a HUGE indoor batting cage and spent the entire time teaching kids to bat and to play baseball.

And they didn’t sell dick. As a matter of fact, they sold less than dick. Their efforts resulted in a decrease in sales of more than 20%.

Anyway, the team that couldn’t sell sporting goods in a sporting goods store was called into the boardroom. At the end of the initial boardroom visit, Trump lets the project manager bring one, two, and sometimes three people back in with him / her, and then one of those people gets fired.

Last night however, Trump changed the rules. He basically said that the PM sucked so bad, that the PM wouldn’t get to choose who came back into the boardroom. Trump then sent three of the seven back to the suite and ordered the remaining four to return to the boardroom.

Once they returned, the lone woman (Jennifer N.) starts getting blamed big time. Now, I didn’t see the rest of the show, so I’ll reserve judgement on her in particular relating to the task. They clearly all sucked, and that should be that. If they’ve learned nothing more from previous seasons, they should all say the minimum unless directly attacked, don’t interrupt the Trump, and let someone else hang his or herself.

That didn’t happen. When attacked and blamed by the boys, she lashed back, blaming the PM. Everyone started yammering and interrupting and blaming, and even went so far as to say that Trump would be “making a big mistake” to fire them.

(Hold please. I’m watching the video clip of the firing at www.nbc.com)

Watching a girl suddenly go from professional to high school cheerleader is comical. Watching the men go from highly educated professionals to nothing more than a bunch of Bobby Bradys that just broke the lamp but can’t tell the truth is almost worse.

Anyway, after all of the bickering, hemming and hawing, Trump said:

“Jennifer, you’re a bright woman, but on this task you let the team down. You didn’t sell. You failed. You didn’t sell.”

Jen: “You shouldn’t fire me. That’d be making a big mistake. Do you think the project was run properly.”

Other guy: “You failed, Jennifer. You failed. Period. Failed. Failed.”

Trump: “Josh, I think you were a very very ineffective leader. Your decisionmaking was terrible.”

Trump: “In this boardroom, we’ve never had a team lose so badly. You’re all fired. All four are fired….Go home.”

I would pay twenty bucks to see the cock punch look on all of those snotty elitest bastards’ faces on a running loop. The three guys sat there convinced Trump would fire the chick, and in the end, they all got shitcanned.

If you’re not familiar with how the show ends, the fired employee walk out of the building and get into a cab. However, this time, they all got into the same cab. The same cab!!

Stay tuned for my next blog of the day:

Top ten things someone in that cab should have said during the 30 second out shot.