Functionally ReTodded

You know, messageboards are a funny thing. The original purpose for messageboards (especially themed ones) was that they were a place where folks with some similar interest could discuss ideas, current events, news and even personal stuff.

Then, a funny thing started to happen. People who originally joined for the same reason or reasons as everyone else suddenly began stirring up trouble, flaming other posters and generally being pains in the ass.

Every board has them. Whether you are a member of a board about flowers or football, racing or racism, someone or several someones will be those people.

Now, I understand that not everyone agrees about everything, and if a board allows talk of, say politics, they are opening themselves up for some headaches. But if everyone can agree that “respect is the key” and that while we may disagree, we’re all still people, then everything would still probably be okay.

Except it isn’t. Because in the end, the assholes that make people start their own messageboards come along, promising to be good, and then they aren’t. It’s astounding how you can find that the same shitty people do the same shitty things regardless of where they are posting.

See, here’s the thing. The internets is a wierd, entertaining, scary, and sometimes dangerous place. Yet, some folks have actually found friends thru various boards. My wife participates in a messageboard with other women who share the same due week as her, and they are, for the most part, a very friendly and supportive bunch. My sis-in-law has friends she met on a baord several years ago that make a point to getting together once or twice a year in cool places to spend time together. And I’ve met a couple of folks thru a board and one of these folks, it turns out, I enjoy very much and my family does too.

Except we talk less and less now because this person has grown tired of the same old bullshit that goes on with a few posters ruining it for everyone else. So much hate and venom and lack of respect for others is inevitably what ruins a board, regardless of that board’s initial purpose.

So now, I sit and wonder what I am going to do. I like many of the folks that are posters like myself. I enjoy some of the funny things I see, read, hear, and have even learned some things about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in the process.

But in the wake of some events recently, I just don’t know if the roses are worth all of the pricks I get from the thorns. (I think that was a metaphor, but I’ll wait until someone tells me for sure).

So now I’m left to decide whether the good fun and entertainment I get from the board is worth the aggravation I also get. It sort of feels like what I have heard a bad marriage is like, and I’m not sure I want to tough it out anymore.

p.s. I just re-read this and decided that it may be the lamest blog I’ve ever written. But fear not, people. Things are about to get better. Next week, starting Monday October 3rd, I will be serving jury duty for my local community. While they don’t have wireless hotspots (lest some dumbass start browsing beastiality porn in the waiting room), they do have analog access so my plan is to basically blog my jury duty experience: good, bad and indifferent, so stay tuned…

But State Farm, the like a good neighbor people, just did the insurance equivalent of shitting on my yard. They denied my claim against their insured. You know, the girl that left her lane at 75mph and hit my fucking car? Yeah, well they’ve decided that my claim should be against the mystery motorist from two lanes over that flinched.

I tried to explain to the very helpful woman that called to record my statement that what SHOULD happen is that State Farm should fix my car and THEY should go after the other person. After all, only one person involved in this deal maintained their lane and didn’t strike another car, and that person was me.

Oh, and after Helen Nofuckinghelp denied my claim, I went home, explained it all to the wife, and then got a phone call. It was Timmy Notintheloop from State Farm calling to schedule a time to come by and get an estimate of the damage.

I told him that it seemed a little odd, since his shitty company had denied my claim about five hours earlier, but that he was more than welcome to come out and write some arbitrary figure on a piece of paper that represented what his shitty company was NOT going to pay to fix the damage caused to my vehicle by one of their insured parties.

I know it might not be totally Olga’s fault, but I can tell you one thing, it’s not my fault for sure. I am hiring an attorney to appeal this and I am going to stick this right up the Good Neighbor’s ass.

Why? Because there is no way I’m paying one red fucking cent towards the repair of my car. Not one penny. I refuse to be victimized by a big company and a couple other knucklehead drivers.

I know State Farm’s got some problems right now paying out for all the hurricane stuff, but that’s not my problem. I didn’t tell them to get into the insurance business.

The bottom line here is that they need to pay my claim. I will fight this. And I think there’s a chance I’m beginning to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Wonder if they’d have to pay me if I was too traumatized to leave my home to go to work for a year or five?

Stay tuned. This is going to get better, or at least more fun.

In recounting this adventure for you, I left out one important detail. See, Olga has a….ummmm….mole. It’s half an inch left of the center of her nose and and inch below the inside corner of her right eye.

I don’t mean a mole like this: .

And I don’t mean a mole like this: @

I mean a mole like this:

Except it’s roughly twice that big.

Now, I’m not perfect. Close, but not perfect. And I am sensitive to the flaws of others.

But the first time I saw her and laid eyes on “it,” the first thing that came to mind was Fred Savage from “Austin Powers in Goldmember.”

I know. I’m going to hell. I sorry.