Archive for August 12th, 2005

12
Aug

Here’s a couple more haikus

Rather than creating a unique post for each and every haiku I come up with, I’ve decided to throw several into one post. (I know, and you’re welcome).

Here are the topics:

1) Tony Little
2) Microwave popcorn
3) COPS
4) Label makers

Amazing Gazelle
Please don’t yank my ponytail
I’m bald underneath.

Guess what I know, Orv?
I know it’s not real butter
I won’t tell a soul.

Bad boys. Bad boys. Twice.
Naked crackhead getting popped.
Watcha gonna do?

Whose stapler is this?
Is that a red Swingline there?
Label says Milton.

12
Aug

You didn’t ask, but I’m gonna tell you

A friend of mine asked me to weigh in on the whole issue of the NCAA getting involved in and creating a mascot scandall where there isn’t one.

Let’s see, this “ruling” was handed down by the NCAA’s executive committee. Said committee consists of representatives of eight Division I schools, and six of those schools are under investigation for major rules infractions.

That “committee” is headed by megalomaniac Myles Brand, who apparently thinks that the Fighting Sioux of North Dakota is more offensive than low graduation rates, gambling, players committing felonies, and all sorts of other problems.

Now, there are many folks that got bullied into changing their mascots. The University of Utah Utes actually consulted their tribal namesake for guidance, and still got bullied into submission.

Here’s a fun list from another friend of mine, courtesy of some radio talkhost whose name shall not pass my lips:

1) The Seminoles in Florida have affirmed the use of Seminole by FSU and have ensured that the details are accurate and authentic.

2) Illinois can put Illinois on the jersey but not Illini. Illinois is, of course, a french word meaning “Illini”

3) North Dakota can’t use “Fighting Sioux” but instead can use Dakota. The Sioux were a confederation of tribes, one of which being the Dakota.

4) Oklahoma can use Sooner, the people who cheated in stealing Indian lands. The very word Oklahoma is Choctaw for ‘red people’.

5) Indiana can use Hoosiers, of course. But the word Indiana means Land of Indians. The NCAA is of course HQ’d in Indianapolis, City of Indians.

6) The big sponsor of the NCAA Basketball tournament is GM, who of course markets a line of vehicles named Pontiac.

See? What kind of crazy shit is this? An institution that can’t figure out how to name a national champion wants to wade into this muck?

Myles, do us all a favor. Put away your “what a travesty” rhetoric, put your sheet back on your head and leave the rest of us reasonable folks alone.

12
Aug

Incompetence, theft and outright laziness personified

Today, while reading the Atlanta Journal and Constitution’s Sports page, a buddy of mine noticed something funny. He’s a huge Robby Gordon fan and, as such, keeps abreast (tee hee) of most news regarding his favorite driver.

Anyway, he mentioned that the material in the AJC’s sports page was very similar, if not identical, to the material he’d read at robbygordon.com earlier in the week.

Well, this humble reporter decided to look into the matter. And would you like to know what I found?

I found that this writer basically cut and pasted a 3 day old article from robbygordon.com or quoted the nascar teleconference in which he MAY have sat in, but did it under the guise of gleening said information by doing a sitdown interview with Robby Gordon.

Shit, the guy calls it “Small talk with…Robby Gordon.”

Anyway, here’s my letter to the paper:

Sirs:

I live in Atlanta and have for most of my life. I am a loyal reader for many years and have been a continuous subscriber for somewhere over a decade.

This morning over a bagel, I was reading your Inside Racing section, specifically the “From the big time…” section featuring “small talk with… Robby Gordon.”

Here are some quotes (in order) from your paper’s interview:

Quote number one:

“There have been a few things that have been difficult, [like] the fleet of cars and some of the personalities. It’s easy to say our engines have been our biggest problem. In the beginning, our team wasn’t good enough for the engines, and the engines were an easy excuse. They blew up and kind of saved us from looking like a bad race team. Now, we’re a better race team, and our engines are getting a lot more reliable and a lot more competitive.”

Quote number two:

It hasn’t been easy for anybody. The [no. 11] Joe Gibbs car has gone home this year. There have been good cars that have [not qualified] that have been in the sport for a long time. The positives are that we are alive and well. Sponsorship is good. Things are building. We’re not shrinking in any way, shape or form.”

Quote number three:

Obviously I’m disappointed that in 1999 we ran out of fuel [while] leading the Indy 500. There are two Indy 500s that have just slipped out of my hands. But I’ve enjoyed racing open wheel. That’s a part of racing that I think all of us wake up every day and love.

Quote number four:

You have to be there at the end. Half the battle is being toward the front for the first half of the race and then having enough race car left – brakes, transmission, and engine – that you haven’t used up during the first half of the race.”

Now, the following are cut and pasted directly from RobbyGordon.com from an entry dated August 9th titled “An interview with Robby Gordon.” The “interview” from Robby’s website has the following byline:

August 9, 2005 - NASCAR NEXTEL Teleconference Transcript - Robby Gordon

An interview with: ROBBY GORDON

Quote number one:

ROBBY GORDON - There’s been a few things that have been difficult. Obviously, the fleet of cars, some of the personnel issues have been interesting at least. And I think, you know, it’s easy to point out and say our engines have been our biggest problem because we have lost a lot of engines. But I’m going to say in the beginning, our team wasn’t good enough for the engines and the engines were an easy excuse. They blew up and kind of saved us from looking like a bad race team.

Now we’re a better race team and our engines are getting a lot more reliable and competitive.

Quote number two:

Robby Gordon - It hasn’t been easy for anybody. The Joe Gibbs car has gone home this year. There has been good cars that have gone home that have been in the sport for a long time.

The positives are we are alive and well. Sponsorship is good. Things are building. We’re not shrinking in any way, shape or form.

Quote number three:

Robby Gordon - …obviously I’m disappointed in ‘99 we ran out of fuel leading the Indy 500. Heartbreak, okay? ‘95, running fourth — running second to Scott Goodyear, 10 laps to go, ahead of Villeneuve, thought I had a flat tire, pitted, and didn’t have a flat tire. Villeneuve wins the race because Goodyear jumps the restart. Two Indy 500s that slipped out of my hands.

But I’ve enjoyed racing open-wheel. That’s a part of racing that I think all of us wake up every day and love.

Quote number four:

Robby Gordon - You have to be there at the end. Half the battle (inaudible) after the race, and then having enough race car left, brakes, engine, transmission, that you haven’t used in the first half of the race…”

My question to all parties involved is, isn’t it standard practice when referencing the material of others to footnote their work? And this isn’t “referencing” by the way. This is downright plagiarism.

I notice the name Jeff Hood at the bottom of these columns on page E4 today, yet the only name listed in the actual transcript of the interview was Denise Maloof, whom I assume, was moderating.

Can you please explain to me how this is any different (other than subject matter) than what several high profile writers including Mitch Albom have been censured and worse for in the recent past?

In my opinion, it’s not any different. Employees of your paper are there to be sure that facts are right and, I assume, that proper credit is given to those that actually did the work. This isn’t like last week when the front of the sports page claimed that Tony Stewart was the first driver to “do the double” by racing in the Coke 600 and the Indy 500 in the same day. In 1994, John Andretti became the first driver to “do the double,” five full years before Tony’s first try. Of course, why should the truth get in the way of a good story?

Over the years, I’ve given your staff at the sports page a pass on misspelled names and places and other errors as well, because that happens. I’ve winced and even written an email or two when facts were wrong and obviously so.

This, however, is too much. I can think of no valid explanation for the blatant theft of another’s work and claiming it as one’s own. If NASCAR gives you permission to run excerpts from their conference calls and Robby Gordon has given you permission to steal from his website without crediting the originator(s) of the work, then I apologize.

But I am fairly certain that Robby didn’t give you permission, and I am more than reasonably certain that NASCAR gave you no such permission either, at least without crediting your source.

I welcome any attempt at an explanation that you or a member of your staff may have.

Regards,

I eagerly await their reply…

12
Aug

An Ode To Georgia

I like the seasons.
The food and weather are great.
I love to say y’all.

12
Aug

Ode to Waffle House

You say good food fast.
You ask “Scattered or smothered?”
What’s the diff? I’m drunk.




 

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