Functionally ReTodded

Terrell Owens is a dick.

There. I had to get that off my chest.

Mr. “I got us to the Superbowl” has decided, once again, not to honor his contract and demand a new one worth (surprise) more money.

Very surprisingly, Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie has effectively told T.O. and his agent Drew Rosenhaus to shit in their collective hats, and that they would not be receiving a new anything. Further, if T.O. doesn’t get his ass into camp, Lurie may not even give T.O. a new parking pass.

For some reason, Terrell and Rosenpenis think he’ll get so much money next year that it’s worth sitting out this year. Owens is about to be 32 years old. Exactly how much longer can a malcontent play in a league full of guys who will gladly clean his plow for shooting off his pie hole all the time? I don’t know.

I do know that I think he’s an asshole. Further, I hope he trips on a rake at home and incurs some injury major enough that he can’t play in the NFL any more, but minor enough that he can lead a normal life. Maybe he’ll end up counting the items on my reciept at the Sam’s Club.

That would fucking rule.