Functionally ReTodded

Before I get started, I was just talking to a friend about IRL female driver and uber-hottie Danica Patrick, and I stated that she wasn’t my type.

He replied: “In what way?”

I said “I like a little more, you know, up top.”

Him: “To me, that’s just a distraction on the way to business.”

Me: “So you’re saying that boobs are like an accident scene in the emergency lane on the way to work in that they just cause unnecesassary slowdowns?”

Him: “Exactly.”

(I disagree, but it just made me laugh…)

Speaking of Danica Patrick, she is apparently not the same as Janet Guthrie, Lynn St. James, Shawna Robinson and the other women before her in racing. She’s fast. Damned fast.

She turned 224 plus in rookie orientation this weekend and knocked down laps over 227mph yesterday, and claimed that there was still speed in the car since they hadn’t trimmed it out or found the balance.

Holy shit!! Can you imagine the Indy 500 with a chick not starting 33rd but starting 3rd or something? That would be awesome.

I just hope she has her lipstick done before the parade laps, otherwise we could be looking at Roberto Guererro II.

Anyway, yesterday I walked in the house and Lauren had blue magic marker from her left shoulder down her arm and all over her hand and arm, in addition to a blue marker moustache.

When asked why she did it, she replied “to remember.”

“Remember what honey?”

“To ask Samma Craws to bring you a daddy guitar so we can play music toogevver.”

You can’t really get angry at that…can you?

Here are some baby names I have been thinking about lately. I like the idea of city names and some work if associated with actual names.

Jennifer Albequerqe lastname(after the runaway bitch)
Minneapolis St. Paul lastname (sounds religious but isn’t)
Amber Auburn lastname (multiple colors are fun too)

More to follow…