Functionally ReTodded

I had to go pick up my accident report from the Western Precinct of the Gwinnett County PD over by Jimmy Carter and I-85. I left at noon, got there at 12:15, only to find a closed for lunch sign on the door. A police precint within a mile of one of the five busiest intersections in metro Atlanta CLOSES FOR FUCKING LUNCH!?!?!?! Are you kidding me?

Anyway, I left there and went to taco bell for lunch and headed back to the cop shop. I was second in line making a left on a five lane road and getting in the near lane, which I learned in driver’s education. The car in front of me got in the right lane after turning and then MADE A FREAKING U-TURN ACROSS THE FRONT OF ME JUST LIKE MY WRECK WEDNESDAY!!!! I nearly blacked out from all of the screaming and honking, but did avoid contact.

I regained my composure and made it to the precint, waited the last 10 minutes for it to open and got a copy of the report. By the way, you don’t just get a copy of the incident report. You pay 25 cents per page. For copied paper. 25 cents. I wonder if it would be free if I brought my own paper in with me next time?

Something to remember here. My wreck was after I turned left into a divided 2 lane road that, after the median ended, had a turn lane for either direction (dotted yellow lines inside solid yellow lines).

The cop told me at the scene that, if the lady that hit me was still moving (which she wasn’t) then I couldn’t pass because I was crossing a double yellow line.

I thought my primary goal was to not hit other cars and that superceded a double yellow infraction, but I digress.

On the report, officer Dumbass writes:

Driver 1 (me) states vehicle 2 (her) pulled to the curb and stopped. Driver started to go around v2 and as he did, driver 2 made a u-turn and they collided.

Driver2 says she realized she was on the wrong street and she went to make a legal U-Turn, but as she did, driver1 passed her on the left on a one lane street with a solid yellow line between her lane and oncoming traffic.

So, two points here:

1) it was not a one lane street. There was a turn lane, making it a THREE LANE ROAD, and

b) when is it legal to make a u-turn across traffic with no signal?

and the bonus question:

If I crossed the yellow passing her, wasn’t she about to cross the double yellow TWICE by making a u-turn across it?

By the way, this all happened about 75 feet short of the entrances to TWO parking lots, and the one on the right holds about A THOUSAND FREAKING CARS, so I am sure she could have executed her dumbass u-turn there without hitting my car.

I am waiting for deputy fife to return my call, but I am not optimistic.

Stay tuned…

Last night was the ninth grade football team’s last home game of the 2004 season. It was the family’s first viewing of what we call Heather’s scoreboard, a matrix board / scoreboard that she led the way in raising funding for from local businesses. The scoreboard is amazing and kept my daughter captivated for most of the night. Or at least when she wasn’t eating nachos, peanuts, popcorn, jolly rancher lollipops, hotdogs, or part of my nephew’s pixie stick. All I can say about THAT meal is blech.

The game was close for a while, but the fact that Chattahoochee High had only 32 players had to come into play late in the first half and most of the second half.

After scoring late in the 2nd quarter, Chattahooche was set to kick off to the return team, on which my nephew plays the front and center position. The visitors dropped an onside kick that hit my nephew and rolled away a bit before he pounced on it, giving his team possession on the visitor’s side of the field.

After the initial reaction of “oh my God…what happened?”, we all realized that our boy had done well. Very well in fact. High fives were exchanged all around as the teams went to halftime with North leading 21-7.

When the second half started, we all mentioned that there was no way they’d try an onside kick again, and then they did. This time, young Nick made a great play, fielding the ball on one hop cleanly and dropping to the ground with it. First down Bulldogs again.

Eventually, the score got to 28-14 us, and the second string offense took the field. They proceeded to march down the field and score their second touchdown in two weeks, led by backup center (my nephew) and the left guard (his friend and our neighbor kid).

Then, the second string defense took the field featuring young Daubie, a kid small enough that I’d be scared to send in if I was the coach. But Daubie’s a fighter and sure enough, he had 1.5 tackles and was his own teammate away from recovering a fumble late in the going.

North won 35-14 and it was a very proud day for all of us. My sister in law actually started misting up after the second fumble recovery by her boy, (long known as a bit of a screw-up) and then there were jokes of allergies and other reasons for misty eyes for the rest of the night.