Archive for October 8th, 2004

08
Oct

And one more thing…

All you folks who watched McGwire and Sosa battle it out and decided “that Sammy sure is a super guy” can take off your blinders now and realize he is not that “bazeball been berry berry good to me” crap. He’s not a good guy. Nevermind whether or not I think he’s juiced (which I do). He’s a bad guy.

Anyway, this week we saw Sammy complain that the Cubs and Dusty Baker should stop blaming him for the Cubs’ not making the playoffs.

Umm…earth to Sammy. Hello? Anyone in there? You were named the captain of the team, you are (well, were) the cleanup hitter, and you are SUPPOSED to be a team leader.

What you did was bat about .195 the last month of the season, you couldn’t drive in a run if your life depended on it, and you played suspect defense. If this was 1919, YOUR name would be circled on the scorecard every day.

And how did you respond? You showed up late for the last game of the season and didn’t dress, claiming a phantom injury. Then, after it was discovered that you were gone after the game, you said you “left in the seventh inning to receive treatment.”

Unfortunately, you forgot the security cameras in the clubhouse, which showed you leaving 15 MINUTES AFTER THE FIRST PITCH!!

The Cubs fined you one games pay, which is a little over $87,000.

(sidebar: I don’t have a problem with guys getting paid whatever they can get paid, but I like to see them work for the money).

The fact that you get paid 87 grand per game and are mad because they didn’t want to pay you for the day you didn’t dress and snuck out before your team had batted first is laughable. File your grievance. You may get back your 1/162nd of your contract, but the lovefest between you and the city of Chicago is over.

Enjoy the boos, big guy. I hope the 17 MILLION you’ll get paid next year can take some of the pain away, you big baby.

08
Oct

Come on MegaMillions…

It’s Friday morning, and already the day’s off to a great start. I left a little late so as not to waste too much of my morning waiting for the dry cleaners to open at 7:00, and the lady showed up late anyway. The upside is that I got to read for 45 minutes, which I haven’t done in about three months. I’ve gone from a book every three days to a book about every three weeks lately.

Anyway, I get to work, the fax machine next to me is in error status for about the 45th day in a row, which means it sounds like a house alarm going off next to me. Then my boss comes in, says good morning in response to a co-worker, then ignores my good morning greeting. Is that a sign?

Last night we went to my nephew’s 9th grade football game and made our first visit to Duluth’s stadium. Nice place, good food, but a bad football team. They only had about nine extra players, which struck me a bit odd. This was also the first time I’d seen the mercy rule employed. If a team leads by more than 28 in the second half, the clock runs non-stop until the game ends.

The game featured its usual great run for a score by young Kirtley Dovel and a quick slant for a score to Jaison Yoshimura. These two kids not only don’t avoid contact, but go out of their way to find a guy to drop a shoulder into, which is quite impressive. North won 34-0.

My nephew is the second string center and plays kick returns, so his meaningful playing time came on offense in the second half. It was nice to see him make good snaps, make and hold blocks to spring the backs for extra yardage, and overall it was good to see the second team moving the ball on the ground. No tricks. Just hit your man in the mouth and move forward.

Lauren had a great time eating pizza, talking to cheerleaders, and drawing. She also enjoyed being fed sunflower seeds by me, which is the type of thing reserved for a princess, which of course she is. I am thrilled to live somewhere that the teenagers aren’t too cool to be nice to my baby and to the adults as well. I guess sometimes it really does take a village…

We got home to watch the last 30 minute of Survivor and get the urchin to bed. It’s nice to sit and relax with a nice cold expired Miller Genuine Draft (thanks dad) and ponder the day’s events.

Later, we got to spend a little time with our recently departed neighbors (who I will call “the B’s). They came in for a weekend of homecoming, UGA v. UT and “porch sitting” as Mister B refers to it. I am still saddened by their absence daily. If my lotto numbers hit, I told them to pack the truck up and come back home, and we’d act like this whole thing never happened.

So what do you say, Lottery Gods? I bought the tickets. How about giving a brother and his friends and family a break? You can bet that you wouldn’t find me passed out in a strip club missing half a million in cash that I had in my car, that’s fo shizzle.

Oh, I forgot my daily Screw Baseball update. I did not watch a pitch last night, but the Braves won in extra innings thanks to a walk-off home run by Rafael “so what if I’ve had a couple of drinks” Furcal to tie the series at one game a piece. The Cardinals drilled the Dodgers again and showed themselves to be the class of this post-season, and in my opinion, Boston’s real threat in the World Series.

Dammit. There I go again. Getting caught up in the post-season AND being seated firmly on the Red Sox bandwagon. Would someone please hit me over the head and remind me of the reasons I still hate professional baseball?

You know…All Star Game ties, collusion, the antitrust exemption, owners, the only professional sport in the world where steroids aren’t explicitly banned, etc.

Thanks for the reminder, Bud-boy. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.




 

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